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CHAPTER14
Friday morning at breakfast, Samantha had a difficult time eating. Tonight would be the last night she spent under the McCulloughs roof. Maureen had already extended several invitations for her to return and Sam knew they would apply with or without Braydon’s company. Sam also knew she would never accept her invitations.
Her time here was over. It would be too painful to come back and face all the memories she and Colin had created here. And God forbid she ran into him again after he took his vows. Seeing him dressed and marked, as a man of God, would be too real, too painful. She’d rather never lay eyes on him again than to see him that way, as a man she would never completely have.
Sam pushed her eggs around on her plate and pretended to eat. She did her best not to look at Colin, knowing he was feeling much the same way and afraid that seeing her moroseness mirrored in his eyes would be her undoing. Kelly was relentlessly teasing Sheilagh and Luke was once again absent. Finn and Braydon were discussing their plans for the following week.
Braydon looked up, startled, when his mother said, “I was thinking. Wouldn’t it be a fine thing if you were to take Samantha to that new fancy restaurant at the end of town for her last night here? I know it’s nothing like those posh places you kids have in the city, but it’s the nicest place our town’s ever had to dine at. Isn’t that a wonderful idea, Braydon dear?”
Uncertainty crossed Braydon’s face.
Sam chanced a glance at Colin to find him also watching his brother. Would he tell them that they were no longer an item? That Sam had spent the last two weeks corrupting Colin, tainting his impeccable record on his way to sainthood.
Braydon hadn’t spoken to Colin since catching them in bed together. He hadn’t told about what he saw, but most likely because there had never been an opening big enough for such a bomb to be dropped. Would he drop that bomb now?
She gave him a pleading look.Please don’t ruin this for Colin.It was difficult enough without the rest of them judging him.
Braydon looked at first her and then his brother. He cleared his throat. “Um, that sounds nice. What do you think, Sam?”
“Sure.”
She wanted to spend her last night with Colin, but she had to go along with this ruse or else risk the others' suspicions.
“Wonderful!” Maureen cheered and everyone went back to eating.
Sam looked at Colin, her apology pouring from her eyes. He smiled back at her, looking disappointed, but knowing it was not her fault and that there was really no other option.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Kelly watching them. She turned quickly but her mistake was already made. Guilt flooded her as the blood rushed from her face.
Kelly’s eyes, usually so full of merriment and sarcasm, appeared completely serious, as they bounced from her to Colin and back again. He looked to his older brother with unguarded concern. At that moment, Colin’s expression also seemed to register that Kelly had put two and two together.
Sam began to panic. Everything was getting ruined. It was her last day, and she just wanted to enjoy it with Colin, without the others finding out about them. She had the rest of her life to mourn his absence. She wasn’t ready to relinquish him now. Her heart began to pound and she felt as though she was going to be sick.
She wouldn’t get to be with him one last time.
She wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Was this what tomorrow would feel like? No, tomorrow would be worse because it would be final. Permanent. There wouldn’t be the remote chance that she might pass him in the hall or catch him sneaking into her room to steal a kiss.
Her chest hurt.
Everyone’s voices blended together until they formed a loud obnoxious hum that deafened her to all other sound.
As the fleeting thought that she was having a panic attack occurred, she looked to Colin and saw mirrored fear in his eyes. He stood and everything went black.
Sam opened her eyes,her vision winked from flurry to fuzzy to clear and she saw Braydon and Maureen looking over her. She must’ve passed out because she was lying on the kitchen floor.
“Mother of Christ, thank God you’re awake!” Maureen cried when she opened her eyes. “Have you ben drinkin’, love? It’s nary ten o’clock. Or maybe a drink is just what you need. Sheilagh, grab my whiskey under the sink, next to the Windex.”
“Are you all right?” Braydon asked his tone soft and genuine.
Her head hurt. Had she fallen out of her chair and hit her head? How embarrassing. The sharp, humiliating sting of tears prickled her eyes. She looked at Braydon, wishing he were Colin. Maureen continued to fuss and chatter to the others.
Braydon leaned close to her ear and whispered, “He’s right there, behind me. Look over my shoulder. It’s killing him not to be able to hold you and check if you’re all right. Be a dear and give him a nod so he can relax.”
She looked over his shoulder and saw Colin. He was standing with his back practically to the door and his expression restless. When their gazes locked she gave him a shake of her head telling him that aside from being humiliated, she was fine.
After breakfast, Sam had to down a shot of whiskey just to get Maureen to relax and stop fussing over her. No one understood what had happened and she didn’t want to explain her history of panic attacks. Realizing she wasn’t going anywhere, Colin left but never said where. She needed to get a grip. How did the saying go?An hour of love is better than a lifetime without it?Well, her hour was about up.
When she returned to her room to wash her face and get over her bruised pride, Braydon knocked at the door. It wasn’t closed so he pushed it open. “Hey, can I come in?”
