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“You could always write him.”
She shook her head. “No. There’s no point drawing out what can never be more. What your brother and I shared was here, in this moment in time, on this mountain, and will never survive anywhere else. Once he makes his vows there will be no undoing them. I wouldn’t want to do that to him, remind him of what can never be again.”
It was surprising that Braydon could discuss such things with her. She appreciated his friendship, saying certain things out loud to him made her reality easier to accept, as if with each spoken word she was making her own vows to let Colin go.
Braydon eventually stood and stretched. He kissed her on the cheek and told her he would see her in the morning.
It wasn’t long before Sam was shutting out the downstairs lights and climbing the steps herself. When she reached her door she paused. The yellow glow of light fanned out onto the wood planked floor from below Colin’s door. He was so capable in so many matters, yet with love he was just a boy.
A few hourslater Sam awoke to someone touching her shoulder.
“Sammy, wake up.”
She grumbled and slowly lifted her lashes. It was still dark. Her eyes squinted as her vision cleared from blurry to merely fuzzy and she saw Colin standing over her.
“Colin? What time is it?”
“Four. Come on,” he whispered.
“Where are we going?”
“To the lake.”
“It’s the middle of the night.”
“I know, but I promised you I’d teach you how to swim before you left.”
Disappointment flooded her sleep-addled brain. “I don’t want to swim.”
He pulled her out of bed anyway. “We have to. It’s the one thing I can give you. Now come on, put some pants on. Where are your shoes?”
She groggily stood in place and watched him shuffle around her room searching for her things. He handed her a pair of pants and she tossed them on the bed.
“What are you doing? Put them on.”
“I have to pee,” she grumbled and shut the bathroom door.
The florescent lights of the bathroom helped her wake up painfully fast. Washing the sleep out of her eyes at the sink, she proceeded to brush her teeth. She probably wouldn’t get a chance to go back to bed, but she could sleep on the train.
When she entered the bedroom again Colin sat on the bed holding her flip-flops. She climbed into her jeans and buttoned the snap. Colin handed her the sandals and she slipped them onto her feet. Gazing at him, she sent him a pointed look that said, at this hour this was as ready as she was going to get.
It didn’t occur to her until they reached the lake that she’d forgotten to slip into her suit. As Colin pulled off his shirt she stilled, mesmerized by the way the moon glinted against his abs and shoulders. He tossed his shirt to the sand and faced her.
“I forgot my suit.”
He looked at her for a moment appearing to consider their options. Without a word he walked to her and lifted her tank top over her arms and tossed it to the ground. She had been sleeping so she was braless. The cool night air tickled her flesh and her nipples tightened. He stepped closer and the hard nubs pressed into his chest.
Head lowering, his eyes reflected the light thrown by the moon. His soft lips grazed hers and she sucked in a breath. Pulling her flush to his front, a thousand butterflies released in her belly as he kissed her.
He did not kiss her as a holy man or as a friend saying goodbye, but as a lover kissing his woman before embarking on a journey that he knew left little chance of his return. He tasted her and savored her, drank from her. Her body bent back as he tipped her head farther to take more of her. Her fervor rivaled his as she kissed him back.
They broke away from each other breathless. Fingers unbuttoned her jeans and slid them down her legs leaving her bare and standing before him in only her plain cotton panties. He took her hand and her soul anchored itself to his. Safe.
They walked with slow silent steps to the water and there was no apprehension, no fear of how this part of the earth could swallow her whole. She understood that there were greater things to fear, less physical pains. Drowning emotionally was a demon she now knew that made her old fears look like child’s play. She was foolish enough to follow him for the simple joy of it, the same as she had followed Meghan that wintry day they had lusted for an adventure.
There would always be different landmarks in her memory. This lake, this evening, would mark her time with Colin. It would represent her wordless farewell to the first man she ever loved. She pushed all mutinous thoughts away so that she could purely embrace the now.
The slumbering water jostled and rippled as they stepped down the bank. The depthless forests across the lake was only an inky backdrop to the majestic waters. Stars reflected on the surface winking with little ripples. The moon spilled into a wide silver puddle that danced with each step they took.
