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I could tell he was trying to make light of the situation and I couldn’t blame him. As much as I admired that about him, it also made me see how he and I were never going to work out.
“It makes you a good producer, it will make you even better at doing whatever needs to be done with the show going forward. You’re a born leader and it’s your calm, your resilience, your silent strength that will make the show great. I know that it’s going to do wonderful in your capable hands.”
He squeezed me tighter and smiled into my neck. “You have no idea how much your words mean to me.” He tightened his fingers around mine and I held them back. I knew he thought I was telling him that we would work great together and that the future of the show was certain with us working together.
But nothing could be further from the truth. Walking around the lighthouse, feeling his hand in mine, imagining what it could be like if we were really together was all too much for me. We were too different and we always would be. He needed to be in a home, stable, and it was where he would do his best work. Being gone, traveling, seeing the world, that's what I wanted to do. I could see that now and I knew it was what I had to do. I also knew I couldn’t take him with me.
Standing looking out on the water and seeing just how different the ocean and rocks were, I knew that Jason and I were just as different. He might think we could have a future where we could make it all work but I knew without a doubt that we couldn’t. I just didn’t know how I would tell him or how I would let him go.
Chapter 22
Jason
“Yes, right there. Yes. That feels so good,” Natalie cried out.
She was riding me with me deep inside her, her beautiful breasts were on full display as she bounced up and down on top of me. She had woken me up with her hands, her mouth, her tongue and had immediately gone on top of me and taken me for the ride of my life. My hands cupped her breasts, teasing and twisting her nipples as she went higher and higher.
“Natalie,” I moaned as she rubbed her body over me.
“Yes. Yes! Yes!” she cried out as she came. At the feeling of her going over and having her wake me in such a way it was too much for me. I followed her right over the edge.
Exhausted she dropped down on top of me and I immediately wrapped my arms around her. She put her face next to my chest and just stayed there while I ran my hands lazily up and down her back. I was still deep inside her and could feel little aftershocks of our love making moving through her body.
I was as content as I had ever been and at that moment I didn’t want to move or ever let her go. The day before had been incredible. Taking Natalie’s hand, keeping it in mine and holding her while we looked out on the water felt like a new beginning for us. We had talked about our differences and I could see how they would work for us, not only as a couple but on the show. I was even more convinced that we were going to do great things together and that we belonged together.
We had been about to leave the lighthouse when the docent came up to us all apologetic.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize you would be here so soon. This is for you,” she said and handed me an envelope.
Natalie and I had seen it was from my father and we knew we had come to the right place. I had started to think we had the wrong lighthouse or we had gotten the clue wrong. I was trying to figure out where else we could go when the docent had come up to us. I had wanted to open up the envelope right away but Natalie had convinced me to wait.
“Let’s not do it right away. We can do it tomorrow. Why don’t we go and have lunch on the pier, I hear you can drive your car onto it. Then take a walk around the city and try to find a place to stay for the night. Let’s take a day to not do anything or worry about the next clue?”
“That sounds like a wonderful idea,” I replied.
We went to the pier and had lunch at the restaurant there. It had part of its floor covered in glass so you could see the ocean below and we occasionally saw some fish and even a few seals swim by while we ate.
Natalie charmed the server and we chatted with her about what we had been doing and she in turn gave us some suggestions on what to do with the rest of the afternoon. We were in no rush to leave and ordered a bottle of wine while we had our lunch and chatted the afternoon away.
It was late by the time we left and we wandered down to the beach and took a walk. I took Natalie’s hand in mine again and it felt like it had always belonged there, that it should always be there. It was then that I knew I had fallen completely and totally in love with her. I had looked over at her as the sun was setting and knew that I would never find anyone more amazing than Natalie.
Sure, she annoyed me and pushed my buttons and at times she made me rethink everything I thought I knew. But they were just some of the many things that I loved about her. I loved how she made me a better person and I wanted to be a better man because of her.
I had always wanted to get married and settle down. I never thought it would be with someone like Natalie but I couldn’t imagine it being anyone but her. I knew she wouldn’t want to settle down, at least not in the traditional sense. She was too much of a wild child and would want to see and be a part of the world.
In the last week, I had started to see that I could like that too and if I had Natalie by my side, I would want to do it. I was finding I liked a little adventure in my life and with Natalie I would have tons of it. I didn't just want to be, I didn’t want to just go through the motions in my life. Natalie had helped me see that I didn’t need to. I could be the man that I always was, but still live life to its fullest.
As much as I was ready for the next stage in our lives I knew that Natalie wasn’t ready to hear that yet. Until we had the hunt my father started for us done, she couldn’t move on or think about what was next. Until then I would take the time to convince her that we belonged together.
Natalie rolled off of me and sat up in the bed. She reached for the envelope we had opened last night with the latest clue in it
In the town of Pismo
You will find your mark
Where I have wings but I'm not a bird
I am small and colorful.
