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“It’s not your fault,” he whispers, the tension in his shoulders deflating right in front of my eyes. I smile, stepping forward and placing both of my palms on his chest as his eyes lift to meet mine.
“I know it’s not my fault. Just like everything hitting the fan today isn’t your fault either. We’re going to have some very bad days ahead, but I need you to be with me, not against me.”
“I was never against you.”
I arch my eyebrow and laugh quietly. “Sure felt like it.”
He shakes his head. “I never wanted you to see this side of me, this side of the game. The pressure, the frustration, and especially the anger.”
“You forget that I grew up around this,” I say with a wink, then my face sobers. “You don’t think I’m angry?” I admit.
He looks down at me and I try and give him a reassuring smile.
“I’m angry all the time. I want my life to go back to normal, where I don’t have to worry about my every move being used as blackmail.”
“Sunshine…” he mutters, his head dipping and resting against the crook of my neck. “I hate what this is doing to you and if I could take it all away, I would.”
There’s a weighted silence between us and I know I need to say what I need to say but I hesitate. Josh must sense something because he leans back, our eyes locking.
“What?”
“I—” I start but stop, trying to find the right words.
His fingers graze my chin, lifting my eyes to his. The anger is gone and all I see is concern.
“I wish I was stronger,” I admit. “Strong enough to walk away. I wish I could let you go back to the way things were before me, but I’m too selfish. I love you too much to let you go.”
A shiver runs through me as the water turns cold. Without breaking contact, Josh turns off the water and slowly wraps his arms around me.
“Damn, Sunshine, you’re killing me.” His lips lightly trace a path from my collarbone to the shell of my ear. “I’m a selfish bastard too. I love you so much it scares me. I would give up all of this for you.”
I go to rebut but he shakes his head.
“I know you would never ask but I would. Baseball was my first love, but you… you are my forever love.”
My heart melts into a puddle on the floor right there in the bathroom.
“I know I let it all get to me tonight, but that anger was never directed at you. You are the light to my darkness, sweetheart.”
I shut my eyes as he picks me up and my legs wrap around his hips as he walks back out toward his bedroom. He sits on the edge of the bed and just holds me on his lap, breathing me in.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs against my hair, and I smile, kissing his shoulder.
“It’s okay. You have all night to make it up to me,” I tease as his hands lightly travel down toward my ass and squeeze.
“Is that right?” He smirks, leaning over and lightly biting my neck, causing me to jump. “Just remember that you asked for it,” and before I know it, I’m flipped onto my back, and he keeps that promise… twice.
12
Josh
“You need more food in this place,” King mutters as he opens a bag of chips I know I didn’t buy and sits beside me as the game loads on the TV.
“You mean the chips you’re holding aren’t enough?” I question through a laugh as my phone vibrates on the table. When I lean over to see who it is, I crack a smile when I see that it’s Harper.
“These were the only thing I could find that constituted as a snack. The rest are healthy and shit.”
I arch a brow because if I know anything it’s the fact that King knows exactly what goes into his body and keeps track.
