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“What about my personal life? How does this extend to that?” I asked, needing to know exactly what I was getting into.
“It wouldn’t be invasive. More than that, there are certain things that I might ask… or tell you to do and expect your obedience and if you don’t follow through with them, then I would punish you.” He hesitated and I could see the issue that may have come up for him in the past.
On the surface, this did seem extremely controlling but I wasn’t a prude and I certainly wasn’t against exploring things.
“If you don’t want to play with this dynamic, I understand and I wouldn’t push it on you either. We don’t need to do anything at all and can just explore this as a normal relationship.” He hurried to say and I felt for him.
“But wouldn’t you be denying a part of yourself that makes you who you are?” I said softly and he shrugged.
“I haven’t had a chance to explore it enough for it to truly feel like a loss.” He replied lightly but I saw the hidden emotions beneath that.
What he meant was he had never been accepted so he shoved it aside.
“Okay. I don’t know how well I will go with this but that doesn’t mean I am not willing to try. If we are going to go all in on a relationship, then I want you to feel confident in being ableto explore everything you desire as well.” I said, knowing I did the right thing the minute his eyes lit up.
“Really? We can take it slow and I need to know what hard limits you have too. I would hate to hurt you in any way. There would also need to be a safe word in place, not just for the bedroom but also for daily life so I know if I have overstepped a line.” He said and I considered what he said.
“Honey,” I said, making him smile. My favorite addition to the coffees he made for me.
“Honey, it is, Kitten. Thank you.” He whispered, taking my hand in his and kissing the palm of my hand.
“For trusting me.” He added, seeing the question in my eyes.
“I’d like to start now if you are open to it.” He asked and my stomach fluttered, curious and nervous all at once.
“Oh? How so?” I questioned and he grinned.
“I want you to rest. You will come out and eat the amazing dinner that Leo has cooked for you, then you will sit down and enjoy some dessert while I massage your feet and you can relax. Then you will go to bed early, next to me.” He added before he leaned in and nuzzled my neck.
“Is that all?” I said teasingly as he lightly bit my earlobe, tugging gently.
“Yes. I know how hard it is for you to take care of yourself so we will start small, okay Kitten?” He crooned in my ear.
“And if you’re a good girl, I’ll reward you.” He whispered before he pressed a kiss to my neck.
I don’t know what it was about the shift in Riley, hearing him say those things had me wanting to do what he asked.
After all, he was only asking me to be pampered, how hard could that be?
Twenty seven
Riley
Iheld Katerina’s hand as I guided her out of the bedroom toward the amazing smell of whatever Leo was cooking in the kitchen.
I was fucking nervous. I had no idea how things were going to go from here and a part of me felt like I was a fraud.
It was a dynamic that I never truly had the chance to explore in depth. It had taken me a long time to come to terms with what I was and hours of research to give myself a label.
I looked back at her and she smiled. My heart grew in my chest as I realized that not only was she accepting a part of me that I didn’t truly understand either, but willing to let me explore it with her while we navigated this dynamic.
“That smells amazing,” Katerina said as we walked into the kitchen. Leo looked between us, his eyes lingering where our hands were connected before he smiled and nodded toward the table.
“Sit down. I’ve put some lemon water out for you. You need to drink more water.” He added and she narrowed her eyes.
“I drink plenty of water, thank you. I would kill for a coffee though.” She said and Leo looked at me, raising an eyebrow.
“No,” I said gently as I guided her to her chair.
