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I'm floored by his words. He would be proud? Ana went back for two years? James reaches out his hand to shake mine; his hand is almost as large as Duncan's.
“Wait! Um…sir, I'm just here to protect her,” I stutter, trying to act as if I don't care, but I think he sees right through me.
His hand squeezes mine. “If that's how you really feel, maybe you should just go to Belfast and not come back. Although, take it from a man who lost his soulmate, once you find the one, there is no other. I never remarried because there was only ever going to be Isabella for me.” His eyes darken and his head drops, revealing a brief glimpse of the pain he still carries.
“Thank you, sir.” He might be right about himself, but no matter what, he can’t be right about us. I want her, but she deserves so much better than me.
James drops my hand and sits back down. I turn and walk out, going over our conversation, and Ana. She doesn't want me. I’m not good enough for her, and I never have been. That doesn’t stop the feelings of wanting to help raise her baby girl. Of wanting a “worth it” like Duncan and Christopher found. But I know for me that isn't going to happen. I've seen too much and allowed too much to happen.
I proved I could serve and not go crazy like he did, but I battle the nightmares from my past almost every night. I’ve already failed one woman, I can’t fail Ana. Getting involved with her would expose her to the demons of my life.
Although, seeing her with another man again would shred me, and I know I’d never be able to be around her.
I head into Dundee to do some shopping before heading to the airport where our private jet is waiting for me. When I land in Dublin, I pick up the rental car and head for Belfast. I knew the Belfast airport would be under surveillance, so I chose this option. After I get into the car I text Ian. He’s the only one of the guys that knows about Ana's and my past. This will be the only time I can communicate with the team except via email.
How is everything there? I hit send and wait for the reply.
Ian’s reply is quick. She's good. They are going to be moving her in the morning to the new cottage. I'll keep a special eye on her.
Thank you, mate.
No problem. By the way, something happened at the doctor. They’re referring her to a specialist. I'll watch and see what I can find out.
Bloody hell. I rub my forehead and reread what he wrote. After last night when she almost collapsed and her swollen feet, it has to be her blood pressure, it’s on the rise. My nightmares are coming true.
Protect her for me.
No need to even ask, Ian responds without hesitation.
Thank you, brother.
I end the text and think of how Ian and I are now in the same boat. How I feel so much for this woman, and she keeps running from me. I hated leaving Ana the way I did, but she was the one to run off, and I really needed to find out what was happening here. I need to protect her with everything I am. I end up texting Timothy next to check on the staff in London and on Michael.
After arriving at the hotel in Belfast, I head to the restaurant for dinner, and then the bar for a drink to help me relax.
“Hello, is this seat taken?”
I turn to see a tall, slender brunette coyly looking at me. Her lips are stained a deep red, and she’s seductively biting her bottom lip. I turn back to my drink and shoot the rest.
“No, I was just leaving,” I reply back.
I know what she's really asking, and part of me thinks I could use a good shag, but as soon as that thought enters my mind all I can see is turquoise blue eyes and blond wavy hair. Yep, so not going to happen.
“Can I buy you a drink, handsome?” Her voice drips with seduction.
“No, thank you. I'm taken.” I don't know where the words came from, but I smile. I'm so taken, and it’s not by this woman.
“It's only a drink, handsome. Besides, I don't see anyone with you. I'm here visiting from the United States. I'm only looking for some fun, and you look like the fun type.” She touches my arm, and I instantly feel how wrong this is.
“My girl is back home. Thank you, but not interested.” I stand up and throw a couple notes on the bar, then walk out.
I enter my room and immediately take a shower, then spend the rest of the night reading through the pregnancy books again and searching online for doctors in Scotland who specialize in preeclampsia. A Dr. J. Parker intrigues me and sounds to be the perfect fit for my angel. I hope this is the doctor they referred her to. Dr. Parker's training is the best from the United States and abroad. There are no pictures or personal information, so I log into my email and fire off a message to Timothy, asking him to run a background check on her. It should take him a day or two to run a deep check.
I shut everything down, climb in bed and close my eyes. A year ago I would have taken that woman up on her offer. I remember the night I decided my angel was lost to me. I had to exchange Duncan's car with my Rover, and I couldn't stop myself. I took the elevator from the garage to the ballroom floor. I stood in the hall and watched Maya and Ana talking after what appeared to be the father-daughter dance. She was smiling and so beautiful. I didn't know she was so formal. When I met her she had a relaxed fashion, but seeing her in the wedding gown and tight hairstyle still stopped my breath. I watched him walk up to her and saw her features change. She looked so refined and regal. Maya stiffened, but at the time I didn't think anything of it. Now I know she only married him to protect those she loved. I thought I had lost her for good and left the hotel for the nearest pub. That was the night I confessed to Ian about how Duncan and I really met. How I searched him out to be on my team. How I figured out he was the brother and not the boyfriend.
Chapter Six
Ana
