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“You did what?” She pushes out of my arms and rises up, looking down at me. “How could you?” I stand next to her.
“They're saying we've been seeing each other since before December, that bloody git, Patrick, is claiming he saw us together. Do you remember in December when you went to the pub? I saw you, I was there too. I would do anything to protect you both. Anything!”
“But, Joshua, if they demand a paternity test, what will we do? Besides now, he has grounds for divorce. Wait, you went to the pub too?” She says it so quietly I almost think she said her thoughts out loud.
“Yes, he does, and as long as he's out of our lives, I don't care. As Isabella's biological father, I refuse for her to be tested without my permission. I've already signed the papers, she can't be tested now.”
“How could you do that without asking me? Get out of my home. I won't have another man making decisions without my input.”
She's so beautiful when she is angry. I want to kiss her until she calms.
“No, Angel! You're upset, but sit down and think. I've just saved Isabella from him. Now we just need him to divorce you. Please, Angel, think. Don’t react.” The words haunt me as I remember Maya saying that to Duncan before her big confession.
“What? Bugger off, Joshua—” She collapses. I jump for her before she hits the ground. She is out cold.
“Angel! Angel, wake up! Damn it, motherfucker, what just happened. Call an ambulance, do something.” I'm looking down at her, hearing the commotion around me. This isn't like what she did in the woods with Ian, this is definitely not right.
I hold her close and beg her to come back to me. I just got her back.
“Pick her up, we're taking one of the cars to the main road, the ambulance will meet us there,” Maya says calmly next to me. “It has to be her blood pressure.”
“Come on, Angel,” I beg again as I carry her out. I can't lose them now. I just realized how much I want them in my life.
We make it to the main road as the ambulance is pulling up. I refuse to leave her so the medics let me ride with her. Her blood pressure is sky high, and her heart rate is high too. The baby’s heart rate is decreasing. Son of a bitch!
“Save them both, please. They're my life,” I beg the paramedics.
I start to pray for the first time in years. I hold Ana’s lifeless hand and pray for them to survive this. I know it's too early for Isabella to be born. I promise to be the best father and husband to them. I promise to marry her as soon as possible, and mostly I promise to love them always.
We pull up to Ninewells Hospital and I see Duncan and Maya slide into a spot in the parking lot. Ian will follow with James and the others shortly. They pull her gurney out and into the emergency room bays, and they push me back. A nurse walks up and directs us all to a waiting room, ushering us out of the middle of the hallway. I start to argue when Maya puts an arm around me.
“Come on, Joshua, let's go sit down before they call security and have you removed.” She pulls me along. I'm numb, my first day as a parent and I try to kill mother and baby. How did I let this happen?
“This is my fault. If I hadn't pushed her, she would be safe,” I say to no one in particular.
“Joshua, she hasn't been honest with any of us regarding her health. I think she's worried we'll close ranks and make her come back to the main house. It wasn't your fault, now we know, and we won't let this happen again,” Maya replies.
“Maya, who goes with her to the appointments?” How has she hidden this from us? Maybe I should've told Maya what happened with Ian, but Ana told Ian she was just very tired and fell asleep.
“We escort her, but she won't let anyone in with her anymore. We all have suspected she's been having panic attacks too. Helen forces her to eat,” Maya continues
“Bugger me. I'll make this right.”
I pace the small waiting room, scaring the other people in the confined area until they walk out. I need to make sure they're okay, need to hold them in my arms.
My demons are just under the surface, the darkness is about to consume me. My failures from my past… I was unable to protect others. Will I be able to protect the two most important people in my life? I swear to God I'll protect them with my very life, please don't take them from me.
I almost stumble in my pacing when I remember my dream. I failed then too. What happened to my “worth it”? Christopher, Mum, the soldiers I lead before my team was formed…all my past failures torment my mind. Please don't let my girls be a failure too.
It's been an hour when the rest of the team walks in with James. No one from the hospital has come out with a status update, and I'm about to crawl up the walls. Without missing a beat, Derek walks up to me.
“Look, man, I know you think you care, but you need to figure out how to do that without hurting her anymore. I know what it feels like to lose a wife and child, trust me, you don't want to walk in my shoes.”
“I swear I wasn't trying to hurt her, Derek. I was trying to protect them both. I just reacted. I didn't think about how she would feel with me making decisions for her. All I want now is for both of them to be okay.” He's about to say more when a doctor walks in.
“Ms. Preston's family.” A young, tall, dark-haired woman with glasses and a white lab coat stands by the door. She looks vaguely familiar.
“That's us,” Duncan says before I can.
