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“I can't lose her, James,” I tell him as I look up at him. I know there are tears in my eyes, but I can't wipe them away.
“I know. Ana is your soul.” He pats my shoulder and my head drops.
She is my soul. They both are. I would die if something happened to them.
Chapter Nine
Ana
I come awake to the sound of beeping and the smell of strong chemicals. I feel scratchy sheets, and coldness in my left arm. Where am I? I open my eyes to a plain ceiling and look around. A hospital. Why?
It starts to come back to me, fighting with Joshua. I told him to leave and not come back. No, he can't go. I look around and don't see him, he should be here, he promised.
Maya is sitting next to me, her hand resting on the blanket by mine. Duncan is in a chair across the room near the wall. They both have their eyes closed and appear to be sleeping. I look to the other side, still no Joshua.
Oh God, he believed me and left. I've lost him again. Why did I tell him to leave? He was just thinking of a way to protect Isabella. The monitors start beeping faster and alarms go off. I want him, he can't leave me. He's right, Isabella needs him. I need him. He's strong enough to protect us.
“Calm down, Ana, please. You're making your blood pressure rise.” Maya is awake and out of her chair. I hear her words, but I can't get through the pain of losing him again, this time my fault.
Nurses rush in but still no Joshua. I've lost him, he left when I told him to. I sent him away when he was just trying to protect my daughter. A physician runs in now; I feel the panic rising. I would rather die than be without him. Maya and Duncan can raise Isabella.
“Please, Ms. Preston, you need to calm down,” the doctor says in a firm voice.
“How…how can I? He…he…left me! I told him to go…and…and he did. I'll never be okay again,” I yell at her.
“Who, Ana?” Maya asks.
I swing my head to look at her and my vision blurs from the motion.
“Who do you think! Joshua left me. All he was doing was trying to protect Isabella, and I sent him away. OH GOD!” My heart is pounding, my breaths are coming in short bursts, and my head is swimming as I struggle to get out of the bed. Nurses are trying to hold me down as I thrash around.
“No, Ana, he's in the waiting room. The physician wouldn't let him back.” My head swings to her again. Did she say he’s here?
“Ms. Preston, I'm going to sedate you if you don't calm down now,” the physician says loudly.
“Bugger this, I’m getting Joshua. You're bloody not going to sedate her,” Duncan says, and rushes out the door.
He's here. They said he was here. I need to see him. Where is he? I hear heavy feet running in the hall. The physician is asking the nurse for some medicine. I'm about to be sedated, but I need to see him first. He comes sliding into my room, nurses and security hot on his heels. He sees me and pushes his way to my bed, pulling the nurses off me to get closer.
“Get away from her, now,” he says in a gruff voice, causing everyone else to step back. As he steps up to the bed, he takes my face in his big hands and looks me in the eyes. I try to focus through the fuzziness.
“Angel, I'm sorry. Calm down, I'm here.” He's here. I'm trying to relax but my heart is beating so hard, and my breathing is out of control. I'm hyperventalating. He leans in close to my face, and whispers so only I can hear. “Angel, listen to me, calm down. I'm not leaving, never again. You can't get rid of me. Remember you're carrying my baby girl and you're mine now.”
“Oh God, Joshua, I'm so sorry. Please don't leave me again. I was wrong. I need you.” He kisses my forehead, my cheeks, and then my lips. He said I was his.
“It is okay, Angel. Relax, sweetheart, I'm here.” He kisses my nose and rests his forehead against mine.
“Angel?” A voice says from behind him. I look over his shoulder to see the physician with tears in her eyes and holding a needle with a shaking hand. I turn to look back at him, my world.
“Lieutenant,” I say breathlessly.
My heart slows as I look at him.
“Angel, I'm here, relax. We want our baby to stay in you as long as possible.” His hand gently strokes my belly.
“I'm yours?” I question him.
“Bloody hell, Angel, you've been mine since the day you wagered me to a shot. You just didn't know it until now.” He smiles and kisses my forehead again.
