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Shite. “Yes and no. Please, I want to talk about panic attacks.”
“Ana, I'll give you this right now because we’re getting to know each other, but soon we will discuss your triggers and your pain.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
“What do you want to know about panic attacks?”
“How can I prevent them?”
“Well, it's different for different people. You can sketch the attack away. Maya works out, and Derek rides or tattoos. You’re not the only one that struggles. I bet even Joshua has to let off steam once in a while.”
“Really?”
“Yes. What are you currently drawing?”
“I'm sketching the swans from the loch nearby and pictures of people. The team and others.”
“So we're just about out of time. I want you to call me back next week at this time. I also want you to know Maya and Derek said I could tell you some things I’ve discussed with them. Know I won't discuss anything with them about you without your permission. I also want you to sketch me a picture of Maya, I haven't seen her in a long time. I miss them both. Remember to draw, always keep your sketch pad with you. You're talented and special. Your family loves you.”
“Thank you, Dr. Mason. I’ll send you a picture of Maya soon.” I hang up and look at my studio. I snap a picture of the swans and send it to him. As I walk out, I don't lock the door. My first step in trying to let my family help me is opening myself up to them.
The day progresses and everyone finally leaves. It’s just Joshua and me, alone. We walk around the property as dusk is rolling in. I wonder if the property in Ireland is like this one. We head into the house and Joshua heads to his office. I go upstairs to shower. I want him, but I'm not sure how to do this still.
Chapter Twenty
Joshua
I notice Ana slowly ascending the stairs. “Where are you off to, Angel?”
“To take a shower.” She walks up another stair and looks over her shoulder at me, flashing me a coy smile. “Want to join me?”
“Hell yes!” I'm beside her in a heartbeat, and swing her up in my arms. I practically run for our room. She gently takes my face in her hands.
“Please don't let what I said change how you are with me. What we shared yesterday was perfect, I don’t want that to change.”
“Angel, I'm going to kiss every inch of you in the shower, and then I'm going to make slow, sweet love to you. I want you, nothing you said changes that.”
“Thank you.”
I carry her to the bathroom and put her down, then slowly undress her. I strip out of my own clothes next before turning on the shower. I adjust the temperature and pull her in with me. I take the brunt of the spray at first then move her under the water. Grabbing her sponge, I wash her whole body, and see each and every scar on her skin. The thin lines I felt under my fingers are from the crop, and it looks like he cut her several times. She has the cuts on the back of her neck, but I see what looks like skin excised from her hip. There’s scar tissue on the bottoms of her feet from repeated beatings.
I wash her hair, taking my time as I rinse it before moving on to rinse her body. She grabs another sponge and cleans me everywhere. When she gets to my cock, the combination of soap, water, and her hands has me turned on, and I thrust into her palms. I've wanted her all day. I almost told everyone to leave after her call to Dr. Mason. She is jacking me off so nicely I close my eyes and lean back. She rinses me off and I'm a little frustrated and thinking of ways to get into her quickly. I'm about to open my eyes when I feel her lips on me. My eyes snap open and I see her kneeling before me, her beautiful lips wrapped around my cock, and I almost lose it right there. Her delicate hand wraps around the base of my cock as her other hand slides down her body to between her thighs. Bugger me, I'm going to come hard just watching that.
“Angel,” I groan. “If you don't stop that I'm going to come.”
“Mmmm,” she hums around my cock. The vibrations and sight before me send me closer to my orgasm.
“I want to be inside you when I blow my spunk,” I growl, and she pulls back.
“But, honey, you are inside me.” I groan again and am about to pick her up when she pulls me back into her mouth. She sucks me in hard and swallows me deep into her throat. Bloody hell this woman is perfect.
“I want to be inside your sweet pussy when I come.” I barely get the words out as she starts moaning around my cock. I watch both her hands and lips move faster. I come so hard, I'm afraid I might choke her, but she swallows all of it, and has me so far in her throat I'm amazed. She pulls back and removes her fingers from her pussy. I grab her hand and lick off her fingers. I then pull her up to me and kiss her. The blending of our fluids gets me hard again. “Sweetest damn pussy I've ever tasted.” I shut off the water, step out, and hand her a towel. She wraps her hair up in it and grabs another to dry her body. I'm watching how easily she is moving today compared to yesterday. She was hiding her scars from me yesterday, but no longer. She turns her back to me and bends slightly to dry her legs. I see the larger scars and growl out, “Bloody hell.” She jumps and turns to me, and sees where my eyes are trained and knows I saw them.
Ana
“Joshua, calm down, please. They look worse than they are. They don't hurt anymore.”
“That sick son of a bitch was into mutilation wasn't he?”
