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“Yes. He cut himself once in a while in the beginning, but in the end, it was mostly me.” I hold my palms out to him, trying to calm him.
“Ana, turn around and put your hands on the counter,” he orders me.
“Joshua, you don't scare me. I know you'll never hurt me like that, but are you sure you want to look at them?” I purposely kept him from seeing and feeling them in the shower. I know they must look bad.
“Yes, Angel, I do.”
I comply with his request and slowly stick out my arse so he sees the scars just below my buttocks at the tops of my thighs. He kneels behind me and traces them with his fingers, then his lips.
“Why are all your scars on your backside?”
I drop my head, dreading what I have to tell him.
“He couldn't get excited or turned on looking me in the face when we’d have sex. He would take me with my back to him. His handiwork turned him on more, and he always told me I was too ugly to look at in the face. He would stroke the scars to get off.”
“That arse is severely sick.” He fingers them again and touches the four round scars, two on each leg. “Is this from a cigar? Why did he do this and when?”
“Yes, they were his Cubans. He did it in January right after I found out I was pregnant. I went to a clinic in Surrey and had the test done. When I got home, he was waiting for me and angry. I tried to calm him down, but he just got angrier. He told me Patrick called him saying I was in Surrey and you were also sighted there. I denied seeing you, but he just threw me down, tied me up, and rolled me on my belly. As he burned me, he told me he knew about us. I told him I was faithful, but he didn't believe me. He said we had been sighted in the same places too often. I tried to deny it, but he kept burning me, said that each burn represented a wrong I did to him.” He kisses each scar again and leans back.
“I'm sorry. I followed you that day, and this is because of me.” I can hear the regret in his voice.
“What?” I look in the mirror at him.
“After I saw you in December, and Maya confirmed she thought you were being abused, I couldn't stop myself. I had to try to protect you. I saw you at that clinic, but I had no idea why you were there. I went to the pub again. After I tried to kill the git in December, I wanted to see if he was working with Jonathan. I guess he was. I’m so sorry, my love.”
“These are not your fault,” I say, turning to look down at him. I lift his face so I can look in his eyes. “I'm glad you were there. I felt you, and it made me feel safe. Made me think that someday we would finally have this. I should have left him long ago.” I smile down at him, remembering what he said. “You tried to kill Patrick in December?”
“Yes. After you took off from the luncheon I went to Surrey. I saw that wanker drag you out of the pub. I went in after and proceeded to get drunk. That git told me he called your husband to come get you, and I went at him. When Duncan and Maya showed up, I was trying to pull my knife. I have to say the Big Guy almost killed the bloke when he hugged Maya.”
“My brother has a serious jealous streak. Do you?”
“I'll be honest, I don't like other men touching you, but I'm learning to control it.”
“Other men touching me… You mean the team?”
“Yes. I got jealous when Raul had his hand on your belly. I thought about it and decided I was being a bloody wanker, so I didn't rip his arm off.”
I giggle. “I was letting him feel Isabella move. He's so sweet and kind, he’s also the quietest of the group. I sometimes watch him watching all of you.”
“He went through a lot when we served. He was captured for a short time. Plus, before he came to live with Timothy, he had a hard life. Timothy and I instantly made him a part of everything we did, and he started to open up, but not much. He's told me a little bit about his past but not all of it. I know that if it wasn't for Timothy's family and the military, he wouldn't be here. He's always been the one guy in the background, but I trust him with my life. I trust him with your life, Angel.” He pauses, and I can see the pain in his eyes. I can see him trying to work something out. “Angel, what are the wrongs he accused you of?”
“I lied. I cheated. I was ugly. And he was stuck with me.”
“I will really enjoy watching him die. You know you’re the most beautiful woman I have seen, right? That you didn’t have to be faithful to him after he cheated, but you did. And you are not a liar. I want you in my life forever.”
“I do, I mean I'm learning to trust what you all say.”
“What is the scar on your hip?” His fingers trail over the puckered skin. Here it comes. How much I actually cared for him.
“It was a tattoo of an angel's wing. I got it about six months after I met you. The drawing over the bed was my tattoo.”
“What? Really?” His voice cracks and sounds breathless. I've shocked him. He stands up in front of me.
“Yes. I never wanted to forget you.”
“Then why would you have it removed? Whoever did it was a hack.” I see the hurt in his eyes, his fingers continue to trail along the scar tissue.
“Jonathan cut it off with a scalpel on our wedding night. He didn't want anything but his marks on me.” I drop my head as the truth comes out. Jonathan took so much from me.
