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I cry and open the package. “What is this?” I know they can hear the shock in my voice as both Joshua and Maya lean over to look at the knife in the box.
“Angel, that’s your own personal Ka-Bar, it has straps for around your neck, arm, or leg. You can even put it in the nappy bag or your purse.” Joshua’s smiling as he pulls it out of the box and its sheath. He balances it on his finger. “Nice weight and feel. This will be easy for you to learn with.” I don't get it. Nevertheless, if they are happy, guess I can be.
“Learn what?”
“How to use it and throw it.” He smiles at me and winks. I watch him every night pull off his guns and knives from their hiding places around his body. I don't want that but know that until Jonathan and Sir are taken care of this is my life.
“Maya, what is the Spanish he wrote?”
“He called you little sister.”
“That's so sweet.
“Okay, everyone, load up,” Joshua says gruffly. I stop and look him in the eye.
“Little sister, okay. Nothing more.” I balance up on my tiptoes to kiss him. He kisses me back and smiles.
“Damn straight! Always remember, you are mine.” He smiles wickedly at me, and I want him to carry me upstairs to make love to me.
“Hello, Anabel and Joshua, how are you both today?” Dr. Parker asks when she walks into the room.
“I'm good, nervous because you're going to be putting a needle into my angel's abdomen, near my baby girl,” Joshua answers first.
“How about you, Anabel?” She looks at me, and I know I can't hide the headaches anymore. This one is causing me to feel dizzy.
“I have a bad headache today. I've been having them off and on for the last few days. Today's is the worst. I make sure I'm drinking lots of water, but today I can't seem to get rid of it.”
“Anabel, tell me more about this headache.” She steps up to where I'm sitting on the exam table.
It’s taken the last month to finally get her to call us by our first names. I really like her, and I’m glad she's taken over my care. She’s caring, gentle and knowledgeable. I catch her watching Joshua occasionally, and I get jealous, I know he cares for me and not her, but my old insecurities come out once in a while.
“Well, they're pounding headaches right in the front. If I lie down, they subside a little. I have also been really nauseous too.” Joshua steps closer to me and takes my hand.
“Your blood pressure was a little elevated again today. Is there something stressing you out?”
“Umm, a little.” Joshua rubs my hand and is watching me, concern evident on his face.
“Care to tell me about it? I can have Joshua leave if you'll be more comfortable just talking to me.” Joshua's head whips to her and I see the determination, he won’t leave.
“No, he can stay. Joshua, calm down, it’s okay. My ex-husband won't sign off on the divorce. The last few days I've felt like something is going to happen.”
“May I ask what makes you think something is going to happen?” Dr. Parker asks.
“Today’s my birthday, and I should be excited, but I'm not.”
“Oh, Angel, I'll be with you for all of it, and I will protect you. I need you to relax so our baby can grow more please.”
“Is talking about it helping with the headache a little bit, Anabel?” Dr. Parker asks me with concern in her eyes.
“Yes, but now I'm nervous about this test.”
“I'm going to get the technician so we can get started. The technician will do the ultrasound as I guide the needle in and get out some of the fluid. I should have the results back in a few hours, and will call you with them.”
“Thank you for being such a good doctor.” I look at her and contemplate the picture I drew of her. Something about her eye structure looks so familiar, I had the same thought when I did the drawing.
The amniocentesis goes well. We were able to get another ultrasound picture of Isabella. She wasn't moving as much as she usually does and I'm worried about the results now. We all head to a nice lunch afterward, and my headache is getting worse. This time it feels like everything in my vision is fuzzy. It’s like when I draw and blur the lines by smudging them, giving the drawing a blurred look.
I try to hide it but know Joshua is concerned from the way he looks at me. We're all seated in the Rover with Duncan and Maya up front, and me sandwiched between Ian and Joshua in the back. I lean forward between the seats.
