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Hellie grins and tugs me along.
I can’t speak anymore as we move forward. There are so many plants it’s unreal. This is the total opposite of what my wedding to Saul would’ve been like—my father was planning something stately, something serious to impress his friends. I have to wipe away the tears as we enter the cavernous wedding chapel, the pews all piled high with more flowers, the smell of pollen and dirt thick in the air.
It’s incredible. It’s exactly what I would’ve wanted if I were given my own choice, and it makes me so angry I can barely think.
This man knows me. Gian still remembers me, even all these years later. I must’ve mentioned wanting to get married in a forest surrounded by flowers at some point, and he kept that little piece of information in the back of his head for a decade for no apparent reason. That’s something only a man who deeply cares about me would do.
I’m so pissed I could scream.
He ditched me. He broke my heart when he didn’t have to. Heerasedme from his world. He could’ve stayed and things might’ve been hard, but he never gave it a chance. He ran away and left me a total mess instead.
I could’ve had him back then. We could’ve had ten years together.
A man who would go to these lengths just to give me the wedding I’ve always wanted. Even if that wedding isn’t real.
I hate him for doing this to me.
For making me have some glimmer of an emotion about him that isn’t pure loathing.
Gian’s standing up front. He looks immaculate in black. Erick’s behind him, looking stoic, only the bare hint of a nod in my direction. A priest smiles at me, an older white man with ruddy cheeks.
I keep staring at my future husband. He’s so freaking handsome it breaks my heart. Hellie maneuvers me into position across from him, and he takes my hands in both of his. I’m tempted to pull away, but I can’t bring myself to be that petty.
“What do you think?” he asks. His face gives me nothing. I can’t tell if he’s hopeful, if he’s afraid, if he’s excited.
I open my mouth to tell him off, but I glance out at the sea of flowers before I let the words spill out. “It’s beautiful,” I say instead.
That gets the most genuine smile from him I’ve ever seen. “Good. Okay. I wanted this to be special for you, even if it’s not perfect. Let’s get married now.”
“I think that’s my cue,” the priest says, and he launches into an abbreviated wedding ceremony. I stay still, frozen in place, not sure what I’m feeling. A dozen emotions: anger, sadness, fear, excitement. Gian’s watching me the whole time like nothing else in the world matters. Hellie and Erick remain a respectful distance away near the pews.
We say the vows. They’re a blur. Then Gian’s moving closer, one hand on my hip. A hitch stabs into my chest. My breath pulls in stutters.
“Kiss the bride,” the priest says like it’s an order from on high.
I can’t protest. It’s too late. Gian’s mouth comes to mine, soft and incredible, his lips pressing gently, then firmer, then his tongue’s lashing against mine in a blistering, searing, entirely inappropriate kiss, and I’m returning it as my hands go numb and my cheeks turn scarlet and I taste him for the first time in what feels like forever, except his taste never really left my mouth, never left my mind, he’s always been right here.
I kiss him and release the most mortifying whimper of my entire life, his tongue rolling around my own, and then he’s gone. The pressure of him released. I feel naked and burned through.
“Congratulations,” Hellie says, giving me a big hug. “One hell of a kiss,” she whispers in my ear.
“Thanks,” I mutter, too stunned to say anything else.
That kiss. My god. That kiss.
I’m in so much trouble.
Chapter 12
Allegra
Gian takes me up to a beautiful suite. There are bags with fresh clothing already piled on the couch, all of them designer, and all in my size. How the hell did he manage that one? “I have business I need to deal with while we’re in town, otherwise I wouldn’t leave you alone right now.” Gian lurks near the door looking uncertain. “You’re free to wander as much as you like, but be back here in a few hours.”
“It’s fine, you can go. Don’t worry about me.” I give him my best big-girl smile while inwardly I’m freaking out. My head’s moving a mile a minute and I can’t think straight. “I’ll probably just sit in here and watch a movie on TV or something. Thanks, uh, for the clothes. I’m totally good.”
He still doesn’t move, studying me, and I’m afraid he can see through my lie. Gian looks at me like he can see what I’m really thinking. He’s always had that way about him, and back in the day, it was what first drew me in his direction: that piercing, intense stare made promises. The sort of promises I wanted him to follow up on. He looks at me like he knows me, like he really understands who I am and what I want, and that’s seductive.
Especially in my world where so few people really care about what I need beyond my basic comforts.
