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“Okay, okay, this is okay,” she says, breathing hard, one hand over her chest. “Oh my god, I think I’m having a heart attack too. Me and your dad, we’re going down together. And it wasnotan overreaction.”
“That’s not funny.”
“I’m not joking! My favorite cousin is going to be strangled by her own father. What the hell were you thinking? Have you totally lost your mind? Like, this is absolutely batshit insane. You have to divorce him, like, right now. Go find the paperwork and burn it. Seriously, start running.”
I open my mouth to explain?—
But hesitate.
I trust Sophia. I always have. We’re closer than best friends. She’s my cousin, practically my sister.
But she’s a Rinaldo girl to the core.
There are very few people in this world that I really think care about me and have my back. Sophia is on an extremely short list—and might be the only name on it.
Except back in school, when I had my fling with Gian, I didn’t tell her for a reason.
We snuck around because I didn’t want her to find out.
Sophia loves her family. That’s not a bad thing, normally anyway. Only I knew back then that she would turn me in the second she found out that I was spending time with a Rossi. Our two families were not on good terms, and Sophia wouldn’t have been able to accept me fraternizing with the enemy.
Much less sleeping with him.
I lied to her back then. And now I have to lie to her again.
Because if she knows the truth and she turns me in, the entire plan will be ruined, and I’ll never get another shot at freedom.
I hate myself for it, but I have no other choice.
“It was either him or Saul,” I say, hating myself with every word. Is this what being with Gian’s going to turn me into? A shell of a human lying to the world. “I thought Gian would be the better husband.” Even I can tell how lame it sounds. “He’s still a Rossi, right?”
“I mean, I guess that’s a good point, but, Allegra. You’re already on bad terms with your dad. This is going to ruin your relationship with him.”
I grimace and look away. I hate the idea, but I knew it going in. Hearing Sophia say it out loud like that doesn’t help though. “That’s not my intention.”
“Then what were you thinking? Seriously, I want to understand. This is just so… bizarre. It’s so outside of your character. When you ditched out on Renzo, I didn’t say anything. I kept my mouth shut and tried to support you. But then you came home and you seemed like you were doing the right thing, then suddenly—” She’s shaking her head and the disappointment in her eyes breaks my heart.
“You really don’t think we should have any say in who we marry?” I ask her softly, almost desperately, because I know the answer already. We’ve never agreed on this point.
“This is the price we pay for what we have.” I’ve heard this argument too many times over the years. She turns the phone around to show me the solarium. It’s such a beautiful room, comfortable and aesthetically pleasing, the decorations all chosen to evoke an old Tudor-era English greenhouse. “We’re given so much and asked only that we do what we can for the Famiglia. That’s how it works. You’ve known that your whole life.”
“But I was never given a choice.” I hate the pleading note in my voice. “Nobody ever asked me if that’s the deal I wanted to make. I never said I was willing to do it. Even though I am, I just—” I stop myself, unable to finish.
She looks disgusted. “How are you even saying all that? Our family is the most important thing in the world, and you’re supposed to perform your duty as the daughter of the Don. You should be proud to make this little sacrifice.”
“At the cost of who I am?”
“Thisiswho you are. God, Allegra, why don’t you get it?” Sophia rubs her face with exasperation as I fight back tears. “Okay, I don’t want to fight with you. Can you just come back home and we’ll talk about it? I’ll go with you to break the news to your dad if you want.”
“Will you really? Can you please keep this to yourself until I’m back?”
“I guess I can do that. But, Allegra, you can’t disappear again. Come back and talk to your dad. We can work this out. I mean, at least Gian’s a Rossi, right? It’s the same as marrying Saul basically. Just come home. We’ll figure it out.”
“I’ll see you soon.” I hang up and end the call a second before I can’t keep it inside anymore.
I sob into a throw pillow. In my head, I can see Sophia’s utter revulsion at what I’ve done. And I can’t blame her—some piece of me is disgusted at myself for making these choices.
I’m privileged. I have money, wealth, connections. My life’s better than the vast majority of girls my age. All I have to do is marry a man I don’t care about, have his children, and continue to live a pampered and luxurious existence.
