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“Sorry I wasn’t here for the bath. I was…busy,” he told her, moving into the nursery. “I’ll get her to sleep. Why don’t you go down to the patio and wait for me. We need to talk.”
Talk? Yes, they did. And this little reprieve would give her the time she needed to gather her courage and tamp her hormones down a notch…or five. She needed to tell him about the miscarriage last year and get some of this guilt off her chest.
If she truly wanted to see if this marriage would work, she had to be honest. But first she wanted to revel in the fact Anthony was helping so much and the fact that he seemed eager to do so. This was the father, husband she’d always wanted. This was the man who could make their marriage work.
“Her bottle is ready.” Charlotte pointed to the small table beside the rocker.
Anthony came within inches and ran his fingertips up her bare forearms. Charlotte froze, her hands on the warm baby. But he did nothing more than get her nerves standing on end before he scooped up Lily, lifted her in the air and twirled her around.
“Come on, Lily Bug. What do you say to Uncle Anthony feeding you tonight? We seem to get along when I’m feeding you. Can I rock my girl?”
My girl.
Charlotte turned from the room, grabbing the extra monitor on her way, since she and Anthony would be outside. She couldn’t stand in there, not with the image they were making. Happy father playing with their baby. The intimacy of him wearing only his underwear and Charlotte in her cotton halter-style nightgown. They weren’t that happy family who shared bedtimes and loving moments when the day was done. They weren’t a laughing family, sharing a bond and depending on each other for everything.
Right now they were the epitome of broken, and Charlotte had to keep that in mind if Anthony decided he was done playing house and his work took top priority again. But she still held out hope that he would see that family could and always should come before a job.
So he was putting Lily to bed and was doing so without her asking. She had no doubt that he was trying to make up for this afternoon. She knew him and she knew he didn’t like raising his voice or getting angry. No, Anthony had always been the fun-loving, good-time guy. To bare his emotions like that was new, and Charlotte figured he’d shocked himself and now wasn’t sure how to deal with it.
She glanced back into the room one more time and her heart clenched at the sight of Anthony’s strong arm cradling Lily, the way his broad shoulders hid the majority of the rocking chair. The soft words he murmured to her as he fed her a bottle.
How would he take the news of the miscarriage? Would he be angry at her for keeping the secret? Would he be sad at the loss?
Needing another barrier in this battle she waged with herself, Charlotte went to her room to grab her matching silk robe. Too bad she didn’t own one of those big, thick, down-to-the-ankle terry-cloth numbers. That would be a much better coat of armor.
She headed down the stairs toward the living room. But her breath caught when she looked out through the French doors and onto the patio, which basked in the glow of the moonlight. The gentle light slanted through the tall evergreens. But it wasn’t Mother Nature’s beauty that had her stopping in her tracks. It was the bundle of blue hydrangeas in a short, etched glass vase and the beautifully wrapped present sitting beside the bouquet.
Quickly she crossed the room and went out into the warm night air, anxious to see what he’d done. Charlotte eased over to the table and fingered the pink silk ribbon that covered the thick, white, embossed paper.
Anthony was a master at charm and seduction. How else did she explain why she’d stayed married to the man this long? Yes, she loved him, but it was that always-present appeal and temptation that kept her sticking through tough times. Pretty words and affection tended to cloud her judgment.
Easing down onto the chaise beside the table, she stretched out and stared at the night sky. She would not be bought. Material things meant nothing to her if the gift didn’t come from the heart and if the gift was just a ploy.
So here she sat, staring at the twinkling stars and the full moon just beyond the tall evergreen trees rising from the mountains surrounding Lake Tahoe. For the past few minutes she’d listened to the subtle tone of Anthony’s voice as he talked to his niece.
“You have a very special lady in your life, Lily Bug.”
Staring at the monitor, Charlotte shifted in her seat, uncomfortable that she was intruding on what he assumed was a private moment.
“We both love you and no matter what happens between me and your aunt Charlie, we want you to know that. I’ll admit, this is all so new and scary. I hope I’m doing this right.”
That made two of them, she thought. The idea of being Lily’s guardian was an honor, but in reality she was scared to death. Yes, she’d interacted with hundreds of children through her volunteer work at the hospital, but when a child was your sole responsibility, that made being the caregiver so much different.
Charlotte listened to the silence, then the shuffling as Anthony placed the baby in the crib. Within a couple minutes he’d be out here and they’d be all alone. Alone with the ambience of romantic moonlight. Alone with the sexual tension. Alone with her out-of-control hormones, sitting next to her husband…whom she refused to touch. And alone with this secret he deserved to know first.
He also wanted to talk about something, so she’d hear him out.
Footfalls shuffled along the concrete behind her and Charlotte took a deep breath, bracing herself for the next several life-altering moments.
“I looked for the monitor to bring, but I see you have it.” He took a seat in the chaise on the opposite side of the small table between them. “You were listening.”
“Yes.”
“Glad I didn’t open up about all my secrets to Lily.”
Charlotte smiled, just as he’d intended her to, she knew. “Good thing.”
He stared at her and Charlotte shifted her gaze to the moon’s mirrored reflection on the lake. “Beautiful night.”
“Beautiful,” he whispered, still keeping his eyes on her. “Never anything more so.”
“Why the present?” she asked, still not looking his way.
“Why not? It’s something you’ll like and I wanted to show you how much I appreciate all you’re doing with Lily. I couldn’t do this without you.”
She threw him a glance, praying her strength held out. “I hope you’re not just trying to get me back into bed.”
Anthony’s soft chuckle washed over her, sending even more goose bumps dancing over her skin. “You don’t honestly think you can go the whole time we’re here and not make love to me, do you, Charlie? Be realistic. I understand you don’t want me to try to seduce you, but we both know I can. And I will. But first I want to earn back your love.”
Earn back her love. He’d never mentioned or even hinted at this before. Hope flourished even more within her, now that he was tapping into her inner emotions in ways she’d never expected. Thank God he cared enough, wanted her enough.
“If I end up sleeping with you, it still changes nothing.” Okay, so she had to say that as a buffer in case she actually did lose her mind and let her hormones take over. And since when did she put a disclaimer on sex? “I’m still not making any guarantees at the end of the ninety days.”
“What if I’ve become the man you want, the man you deserve? Then what?” he asked.
Charlotte sat up in the chaise, swung her feet to the warm concrete and looked at her husband, all deliciously spread out on the other chair. “If that happens, I’ll be the first to fight for this marriage. But you’re putting a lot on yourself to fix years of problems in a few months. I don’t want you to think I wouldn’t help out with Lily. Is that what you’re afraid of?”
In a flash, he was on his feet, wrapping his strong hands around her arms and pulling her up and against him. “You think I’m worried about making sure I get my weekends and holidays with Lily? I want my wife. My. Wife. I wanted you before Lily came onto the scene. And damn if I’m not taking back what I want.”
His lips crushed hers as his fingers roughly shoved her robe down her arms and tugged at the tie behind her neck. The top of her nightgown fell away, but caught between their bodies. Charlotte didn’t resist. Who was she kidding? He was right. They couldn’t cohabit and not give in to their desire.
“You don’t know how I’ve missed touching you, Charlie. You have no idea.” His mouth met hers briefly. “I swore I wouldn’t make love to you until I knew you were in this with your heart, but you have no idea how much I need you.”
Oh, she had a pretty good clue. She craved him like air in her lungs. But how could her body betray her when she was still so torn about where their relationship stood? Wanting him was never, ever a problem. Keeping her emotions in check certainly was.
She arched into him as he peeled the rest of her gown away, leaving it to slide down her body and puddle at her bare feet. She groaned, stretching her body as he made love to her br**sts. She’d always been sensitive there and now that she was pregnant, every touch sent her nerve endings dancing.
Pregnant. She needed to tell him about the previous miscarriage. Isn’t that what she’d come out here to do?
“You’re always so responsive,” he murmured as he moved to the other breast. “So sexy.”
She would talk later. Right now she needed him, ached for him.
Charlotte reached down, sliding her fingertips between his taut abdomen and the elastic of his boxer briefs. He brushed her hands aside and yanked his boxers down.
And sweet mercy, was there anything sexier than a man offering himself to you while standing gloriously na**d with the glow from moonlight kissing his bronzed, muscular skin?
Was she actually doing this? Making love to her husband out in the open when she’d sworn she would talk first?
Yes, she was, and she was going to enjoy every minute of pleasure he gave her.
And Anthony knew how to pleasure.
He lifted her up and Charlotte wrapped her legs around his waist.
“You taste so good,” he murmured against her lips as he carried her toward the oversized outdoor sofa. “I need you, Charlie. Need this.”
“Me, too,” she conceded. No point in denying that she wanted him, craved the feel of his body against hers. God, she’d missed his tender touches.
The feel of him between her legs had her moaning, shifting restlessly, silently pleading for more, knowing he’d draw this out and only make her ache longer.
Without breaking the kiss, he laid her on the soft cushions. Both hands trailed up her bare thighs until he found the elastic of her panties. He jerked them down and settled between her legs. Charlotte lifted her hips, locking her ankles around his back.
“Don’t make me wait,” she begged. “I can’t.”
Without a word, he cupped one breast, rubbing his thumb back and forth over her puckered nipple. At the same time his other talented hand roamed all over her heated, aching body. Fingertips slid up her inner thigh, parting her until she cried out with anticipation.
She didn’t have to beg or wait; he slid his fingers into her slowly, then retreated.
“Anthony,” she cried.
“Believe me, I’m in just as much of a hurry.”
He rose to his knees, shifting to ease her legs wider.
Then before she could even let out another moan of frustration, they were connected.
It was always like this. Always that split second where everything between them was perfect. Blissfully and utterly…perfect.
As they moved together, Charlotte dug her fingers into his thick biceps as he leaned down to lavish kisses on her br**sts again.
Anthony had never been a selfish lover. This was always the one area in which he most certainly put her needs first. Maybe that’s why they always ended up naked.
“Open your eyes, Charlie.”
She looked up, afraid of what he’d see in her eyes, afraid of what would be staring back at her.
And there it was. Beneath the sheen of perspiration over his brow, desire and love looked back at her.
She closed her eyes again, arching into him on the brink of release, yet not wanting this moment to end.
“That’s it, baby,” he urged. “Just let go.”
That’s all it took and Charlotte felt the bubbling anticipation burst as her body tightened, a cry escaping her lips seconds before he captured them.
His tongue darted in and out, mimicking their lovemaking. Within seconds Anthony stiffened and moaned against her lips.
She held on to his body until they both stopped trembling.
And then reality set in.
“Don’t,” he told her, resting his forehead on hers. “Don’t start thinking.”
