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Her breathing grows ragged again, and I bring my hand up to wipe a tear when it collects on her cheek. “You want to get married?”
I nod, and then I notice my own vision getting blurry, just as JD returns and taps me on the shoulder. And I have to use the back of my arm to clear my eyes before I open my hand behind me. He drops something into my palm before he pats my back affectionately. Then I take a deep breath before I get down on one knee and hold the ring up in front of Loren.
“Loren Agnes Reed …” I drag out her name, smirking at her. But she looks more alarmed than touched now. Still, I push on. “Will you please marry me?”
It feels like five minutes pass with the only sound being Loren’s sniffling. Her mouth opens and closes a couple of times, as if she’s trying to form words, but it takes a while before I get an answer.
“Blake, I—I’m not sure what to say,” she breathes. “I didn’t know you felt that way.”
I lick my lips and look down. “Yeah, well, apparently I’m not so good at conveying my feelings most of the time.” She’s quiet again, and I hear a couple of whispers behind me. “So … ah, will you? Marry me?” I prompt her again, this time with only a smidgeon of the confidence I had before.
“Oh, uh, yeah. Sure.”
“Sure?” I ask, standing.
“I mean, of course I will,” she adds nervously, blinking at me and forcing her mouth into a horribly fake smile.
My stomach turns, because I can see the panic and uncertainty on her face. Her hand trembles when she holds it out for me to slide the ring onto her finger, and she doesn’t bother looking down at it as she slips her arms around my waist and buries her face in my chest. She’s mortified, hiding her face from the crowd.
I lean down and kiss the top of her head to the sound of applause and shouts of congratulations. “Come on,” I whisper so that only she can hear. “Let’s go inside.”
“It’s fine,” she says, her voice muffled. She pulls back, leaving a wet spot on my shirt. “We’ll talk later.”
I flash her my pushy-lawyer grin. “We’ll talk now.”
She lets out a shaky exhale and nods, and I ignore the rest of the reassuring shoulder pats and cat calls as I lead her by the hand into the house. I practically drag her into my bedroom, only letting go to shut the door behind me. I’m silent as I cross my arms over my chest, still unable to look at her.
“I, um, I’m sorry if that wasn’t the reaction you hoped to get from me,” she begins softly. “But the whole thing was really unexpected.”
“Was it really?” I finally glance her way, but I’m afraid it’s with more of an angry glare than a loving gaze. I don’t even know why I’m so upset, since I fully expected her to freak out this way. I guess I’m just mad at myself for being dumb enough to hope the others were right.
“I didn’t mean to embarrass you. But I think I’m still in shock.”
I scoff. “You can’t seriously tell me you had no clue this was coming.”
She stares down at her feet, finding the ring with her thumb and fidgeting nervously. “I certainly didn’t think you’d propose in front of everyone today without ever having brought up the idea of marriage in private.”
“We may not have discussed it in detail. But I’ve dropped plenty of hints. So forgive me for thinking you’d appreciate the spontaneity and the whole ‘grand romantic gesture’ bit.”
“I did—I mean, I do,” she replies, her voice sounding small.
“Then it’s just as I thought. You still don’t trust me.”
She sighs and closes in the space between us, grabbing my hand. “Of course I trust you. When I said I wasn’t worried about your past or what anyone else thinks of our relationship, I meant it.”
I lick my lips and look away again. “I guess you don’t feel the same, then. You don’t want to be married to me.”
“Hey, don’t do that, please,” she says, turning my head back to face her. “I never said I didn’t want to marry you, and the last thing I intended was to make you feel bad. But I can’t help the way I reacted when you put me on the spot.”
“Loren, I told you I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, I bared my freaking soul with both of our families standing right there, and when I asked you to marry me, you said,sure… like I asked if you wanted me to make you a snack!Sure, why not, I could go for a peanut butter sandwich,” I rant, waving my hands and mimicking her at the end. She rolls her lips in, making my nostrils flare.
“Don’t you dare laugh at me right now, Reed.”
“Sorry.”
I take a deep breath in and exhale before starting again, trying to garner the last bit of my patience.
“I really am sorry, okay,” she continues. “If I could do it again, I would?—”
