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Even though we’d gone to different colleges, Landry continued to scare off every boyfriend I brought home or talked me into dumping them over some silly beige flags. And by “scare off,” I don’t mean he used his intimidation techniques the way he did in junior high. Over the years, his methods have evolved to include bringing up embarrassing moments from the past, acting totally gross and weird over dinner, asking inappropriate questions about my sex life, and even coming on too strong to his “new best bro.”
I can’t allow him to sabotage things with Blake, not when we have a lifetime of raising our twins together on the line.
Still, there’s no hiding the truth at this point—or most of the truth, anyway. My condition is only going to get more obvious, especially since there are two goldfish in this tiny tank, and Blake and I have been diligently laying the groundwork for our fake romance.
I look down at the picture again. I can’t help but snicker to myself when I imagine my brother’s face as he scrolled through his feed and unsuspectingly stumbled upon the visual evidence of Blake Bourgeois getting awfully cozy with his baby sister. Especially since Blake’s hand is basically resting on my butt. I snort when Landry’s next text pops up.
Lando
I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION.
Lilley
Whoa, hello, handsome! *eyes emoji*
And you look amazing, Lo! *fire emoji*
Calm your tits, Lando. Baby sis doesn’t owe you anything.
Lando
She does when she’s posing with this dirtbag.
I smile, grateful to my sister for softening the blow. Sadly, I sort of wish Blake was here with me for moral support, even for a text convo. But becoming even more codependent on him isn’t going to help matters, so I take a deep breath and force myself to move ahead.
Loren
I went to my first Mardi Gras ball last weekend. And I had a great time, thanks for asking.
Lando
And you just happened to meet up with this asshat while you were there?
Loren
I mean, sure, if that’s what you’d like to tell yourself.
What’s it to you, anyway?
Lando
Because you know how much I can’t stand the Bougie Bros. They’re total douche canoes.
Loren
Takes one to know one, Dr. Dickhead.
Lando
Real mature, Loren.
Lilley
Omg, Lo-Lo, do you have a BOYFRIEND?
Loren
Okay, you caught me. I’ve been seeing someone, even though I forgot to ask Landry’s permission first. *unamused face emoji*
