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“I don’t think complete bed rest is necessary at this point, but I doubt she’ll get through the rest of the school year. She’ll definitely need to avoid overexertion, standing too long, lifting heavy stuff, and anything else like that. And pelvic rest is very important for the duration of the pregnancy, unless we can verify that the problem has been resolved,” she explains, rolling her lips in as if she’s privy to a joke that the rest of us haven’t gotten yet.
“What’s the difference between pelvic rest and bed rest?” I ask like the idiot I am.
“From the looks of her expression, we’re probably better off waiting until she leaves and Googling it ourselves,” Loren finally speaks up.
But Tenley is grinning from ear-to-ear. “Too late, he already asked,” she says in a sing-song voice, batting her eyelashes at me. “Pelvic rest means complete abstinence from sexual intercourse.”
I gulp. Looks like my newfound celibate lifestyle is here to stay, at least for a while. “Right. Got it,” I say awkwardly. I turn to Loren and notice her cheeks darkening, and I somehow think I’ll lighten the situation by continuing the conversation. “Because she shouldn’t overexert herself, right?”
Tenley holds back a full snort. “That’s part of it, but there’s more to it. Semen is a prostaglandin, which naturally ripens the cervix. And with the placenta in the way, any chance of opening the cervix would be dangerous. Additionally, orgasms prompt the release of oxytocin, the love hormone. Oxytocin triggers uterine contractions, and the last thing we’d need is for one of the babies to get pushed down onto the placenta and cause a rupture or hemorrhaging.”
“Okay, then. No more orgasms,” I remark, making Tenley laugh.
“Oh, same goes for nipple stimulation,” she adds, and I sigh inwardly.
“Well, there go my plans for the evening,” I quip.
“Ignore him, please,” Loren mumbles, backhanding my arm, but I can tell she’s trying not to smile.
“Seriously, though,” Tenley begins again. “You’ll need to take it easy in general. If work gets to be too much, just say the word and we’ll put you on early maternity leave.”
She cringes. “I don’t think I’d like that.”
“Then you’ll see to it that she behaves, right?” Tenley says, turning to me.
“Absolutely.” I look at Loren, already queuing up another one of those verbal diarrhea moments that I seem to keep having whenever I’m around her. “In fact, I think you should move in with me. At least until after the babies are born.”
“WHAT?” She chokes on her spit.
“Why not? There’s plenty of room, and I can take care of you and make sure you don’t overdo it.”
Maybe this will be part of my penance. I’ll work off some of my wrongs by going above and beyond for Loren and the babies.
“I don’t need anyone to take care of me,” she says after a while, crossing her arms and pouting in a way that suggests otherwise.
I twist my body to sit at the edge of the narrow bed, facing her and grabbing her hand. “I know you don’t need my help, but I’d really like it if you’d let me. You can even think of it as a favor to me, because as long as you’re living across town, I’ll be up all night worrying about you and our babies. Besides … my bathtub is better for reading than yours.” I dangle the bait in front of her, and my heart races as I wait for her answer. “Don’t make me bribe you with peanut butter, Reed,” I add.
She purses her lips as she thinks it over. “Fine. But we have to stick to the ground rules.”
“Deal,” I say, grinning.
Did I just make Loren my roommate? With no chance of anything physical happening? I’ve basically locked myself in the friend zone, indefinitely. Yet, I’m still happy about it?
“What rules?” Tenley perks up. I almost forgot she was in the room.
I clear my throat uncomfortably. “Not that it’s any of your business, Mrs. Thirsty, but some of us prefer to develop our relationships within set parameters and don’t just jump from a first date to the altar.”
She rolls her eyes. “You realize how hypocritical that sounds given your current situation, don’t you?”
“Fair enough,” I concede, making Loren laugh.
Tenley clears her throat. “There’s one more thing I found in the ultrasound. I’m not sure what your plans are for a gender reveal, but … one of your kiddos is a bit of an exhibitionist.”
“Really?” Loren asks eagerly, her eyes lighting up. “So you can tell us right now?”
“If that’s what you both want,” Tenley replies hesitantly.
“I don’t think we’re planning any kind of big gender reveal, right?” Loren turns to me for reinforcement.
