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“Sean.” She exhales my name like it pains her.
“I can assure you, I’m excellent at picking locks now.” I try to lighten it up and slow my body’s response down, but the reality is it still gets to me. “I don’t like the dark, closed, tight spaces or rooms without windows.”
“Is that why the window is open?”
I nod, and she snuggles into my chest further, but then her head pops up, and she pulls away, her eyes wide.
“The elevator.”
I thought I might lose my shit that day, and my intense meltdown would be blasted worldwide.
A weak smile creeps across my face. “I scrolled my phone, counted the carpet tiles, tried to count my breaths, wiggled each toe individually in my shoes, sent text messages–”
She cuts me off like she’s panicked. “And that worked?!”
I shake my head and take her face into my hands. “Then you started talking and giving the most shit I’ve ever gotten in my life.” I pull her closer. “You…just you…made everything ok.”
Her head tips to the side as understanding registers. “And when they opened those doors, you took off like a bat out of hell. I thought you were just being a jerk.”
I smile. “I was an asshole, but it wasn’t on purpose.”
“Sean…I had no idea. I’m sorry. I was…if I–”
I cut her off with my lips, holding it for just a second. “I would’ve never wanted you to know. I liked how you treated me. Like I was just some guy.”
Her perfectly kissable lips turn upward. “You know I’m never ever going to stop giving you shit.”
I wrap one arm around her waist and haul her onto my lap. She laughs, and the weight of ten rhinos lifts off my chest. I brush the curls out of her face. “I don’t want you to ever stop.”
Her eyes flick between mine rapidly, and she leans forward, pulling my face to hers. Our mouths meet, and my hands slide up her thighs. It only takes a second before she lifts her shirt over her head to reveal a purple lace bra, and the beauty of her is stunning.
She kisses me again, but it feels frantic and rushed. I want Andie, all of her, but not like this. Not because she knows I’m leaving and is afraid I won’t come back. Not when I have to drop her off to face the devastation of finding out she was adopted, and I can’t be here to hold her hand through it.
I kiss her until the desperation calms and then pull back, holding her face. It’s filled with question and worry and need. I need her more than I want her at this moment.
“Hey.” I kiss her cheek, keeping her close. “You have no idea how much I want you right now.” I bring her forehead to mine. “But, baby, not like this. Not when you’re scared that this is it.That I’m going to disappear, and this is our only chance.” I kiss her. “It’s not. I don’t care what I have to do to make this work.”
“Aren’t you scared?”
Her lips run along my jaw and down my neck. This might be the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.
I push out a long breath, and she pulls away to meet my eyes. “I’m scared shitless to leave you. I’m terrified I’m going to get on that plane, and you’ll feel like I left you. That eventually you’ll realize you’re better off without the spotlight and drama.”
I hold her tighter. “I’m scared the most real, most perfect thing I’ve ever had in my life will vanish the minute I set foot on that plane, and I won’t be able to get back to find you.”
I close my eyes, just admitting my biggest fear. “But you are more important to me than this. I’m not about to screw this up and risk the chance you might ever think this was all I wanted.” I brush my lips against her cheek. “Believe me, Andie, this is taking every single selfless fiber of my being.”
“I wouldn’t think that.” She moves to sit next to me again but keeps one leg over mine. “And I’m not going to think I’m better off.” I slip my arm around her. “Can I… at least stay in here with you tonight?” Her shyness is cute.
“I don’t want you to go anywhere. Tomorrow is going to come too soon.” I scoot down, and she rests her head on my chest.
“I’m not ready for you to leave.”
“Me either.” That is the understatement of the century.
“I’m not sure I’m ready to see your pretty boy face all over my feed again, only wearing black and yellow.” I hear the smile in her voice. “I wonder if Arizona knows what a slow-ass old man they’re getting?”
I tickle her ribs, and she wiggles and laughs, and it’s the best sound in the entire world. It sounds like hope and peace and possibility. It might even sound just a little like love.
