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Chapter 51
ANDIE
Sean sets Ax’s car seat base and diaper bag next to the door. I shiver from the cold air, but my insides are trembling with the anticipation of goodbye.
Waking up next to him this morning was the most comforting feeling in the entire world, making this all that much harder. For the first time in so long, I don’t feel alone, but like I have a partner. Someone who’s fighting for the same thing I am. Someone I can rely on and trust. A man I want the very best for and who deserves it.
But now, after just a few short days, I have to say goodbye to the person who’s become my best friend. The one, I’m pretty sure, holds my tattered and torn heart in his hands. I don’t want to let him go, but I also can’t wait to see him soar, showing everyone exactly who he is and what he’s made of.
I watch him look around, making sure he brought everything in. Never in a million years did I think I’d be here…with him.
He crouches down and runs a hand over the top of Ax’s sleepy head. Then he stands tall and strong and freaking handsome as ever, but I see the anxiety running through him. I don’t want to make this any harder.
He reaches for me, and I go willingly as he wraps me up. The warmth of his strong body consumes me, and he rests his chin on the top of my head.
“I’ll text you when I land, but I probably won’t be able to call until tonight. Ok?” I nod against his muscular chest.
“This just really sucks. Can’t you just call and tell them you’re going to be a little late?”
He laughs. “I wish.”
“Huh. You have kind of a crappy job. You know that?” I tease, knowing this is what he loves.
“This is definitely a shitty part.” His arms cinch me in a little tighter like he, too, doesn’t want to let go. “But now, it’s even worse.”
“Why’s that?” I bite my lip, hoping the pain will ease the burning in my throat.
“I don’t want to sleep alone anymore. You with me in the dark is so much less scary.”
I move to peer up at him, resting my chin on his chest, begging the tears to stay locked behind the tear duct dam. “Don’t say that.”
His lips press against my forehead. “This doesn’t change anything. I have to go, but I’ll be back.”
“I just wish you didn’t have to go right now.”
“Me too. You have no idea.” He kisses me slowly and sweetly and then hugs me tight one more time before opening the door and stepping out onto the porch, where Snipe waits to be let in. “Keep these two safe, boy.” He scratches his head before Snipe darts inside.
He steps away, but I tug on his arm, stopping him. “Don’t get your big muscled behind kicked out there, old man.”
His head falls back, and he groans, making me grin. “What’s it matter to you? You don’t even like me.”
I raise and lower my shoulder, releasing his arm. “I can’t have the press thinking I was sleeping with some loser.”
He turns and walks away, leaving me there on the porch. “Don’t forget, Andie, I don’t give a shit about what the press thinks.”
I smile, moving back inside and closing the door, hoping this might just be ok. I scoop Ax out of his seat but stand, listening to the crunching sound of Sean’s tires fade as he hurries to catch his plane.
I survey our bags and all the things that need to be put away so I can get back to my life. I pull in a breath and hold it, not wanting to get back to it. Nothing is the same. I don’t want to face all I left when Sean took me away from here.
The burn in my throat returns with a vengeance. I swallow, trying really hard to relieve it, but it’s not working, and tears fill my eyes. I might have run away with Sean if he’d asked me to. It would have been easier than having to finally accept my reality.
The family I thought I had isn’t really mine at all. My parents aren’t really my parents, and I have no idea where I came from. I feel lost and alone, and I really just want Sean to come back.
I push out a breath and swipe at the single tear I allow to fall. The hardest part will be facing Gem. She’s the one person I’ve always counted on to tell me nothing but the truth. It’s the thing that hurts the most, but I need to talk to her. Maybe, just not yet.
I put Ax on my hip and carry him to the kitchen to fill up my kettle and get to work putting things away. I turn the burner on and kiss his cheek.
“One thing at a time, monster. That’s what we’re going to do.” I blink, needing the tears to stay at bay.
