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I will never tell him, but I’ve watched every single one of his interviews a hundred times just to see his face and hear his voice.
“They’ve been great and are helping me get adjusted. There’s one guy who seems to be a bit of a hothead, but that’s nothing new. How did your conversation with Gem go?”
His quick change of subject only makes me more suspicious. Her comments about going after what I want stir up a flock of butterflies, or more like fire-breathing dragons, in my stomach, causing a rush of heat and chills to mingle over my body. I shiver. Gem’s right. It’s time for me to live my life for me.
Sean has shown up and stood up for me time and again. I wonder if I’m brave enough to step out there for him. I could continue to try to lie to myself, but I already know he’s what I want. Going after Sean also means being on display for all to see. I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready for that, but given how this whole thing started, I know I’ll never deal with any of it alone.
“It was good. She blew in like a miserably depressed whirlwind and looked a complete mess.” I can’t help but smile thinking about it and her solid, warm hug.
“You’re lucky, Andie. That woman loves you.” His tone is so soft it causes my heart to squeeze in my chest.
“I really am.” I bite my lip, knowing what I’m contemplating and also fully aware that there’s no way I’m letting him in on my newest dilemma.
We fall silent while my mind spins with the wonder of actually doing it.
“You haven’t played a word yet or accepted the bet,” Sean says, pulling me out of my nervous pondering. The mischievousness in his tone is alluring, and it’s like he’s snapping out of his funk.
“Listen, loser. I’m still contemplating. You can’t rush a bet. I’ve got to make sure that when I win, I get exactly what I want.”
“Is that so?” His voice is low and sexy, and this distance is completely unacceptable.
“Yep.” I pop the ‘p.’ “So you, Pretty Boy, are just going to have to wait. Now, tell me about the game this weekend. It’s possible I might be busy, but if my plans don’t pan out, I might watch, and I’m not at all interested in seeing this new running back get his ass drug up and down the field by some mediocre low-standing team.”
“Andie.” I don’t even have to see him to know those lips I really wish I were kissing are turning upward.
“What?” I play dumb.
“You’re ridiculous.”
I scoff. “Whatever, I’m just unwilling to waste my time unless I know what I’m getting.”
“I miss you,” he says gently, that hint of sadness returning, and it’s killing me.
“It’s possible I might miss you a little, but don’t let that go to your head. It’s volatile.”
“I would never. How’s my buddy?”
“You might have to send us a miniature helmet. He pissed the floor off today, and it bit him. He’s getting a little big for his britches.”
“Awe, man. He’s such a tough little guy. He needs one of those things you put them in with wheels so that boy can get where he needs to go.”
“Right. That’s just what he needs.” I know Sean is trying, but I can hear the uneasy tension in his voice. “You’re tough too, you know that? I know all this hasn’t been easy, but it’ll get better.”
“Think so?” He sounds doubtful.
Those damn dragons take flight again, spewing fire as I think about buying a plane ticket. The uncertainty in his voice makes it clear to me that, for once, someone needs to show up for him, and I want it to be me.
“Yeah, I have a pretty good feeling about it.”
Chapter 53
SEAN
I lug the big box inside my rental and set it up against the wall in one of the spare bedrooms. I’m tired, every inch of my body aches, and the only thing I want to do is sleep, but sleep hasn’t been coming easy.
Ever since Rob called about the trade, I feel like I’ve been tossed into a tornado and spit out the other side. My heart is missing, left behind in Nashville. Talking to Andie on the phone isn’t enough. I hate walking around like a lonely old sap, especially when loneliness has been a constant companion, like an invisible defect I was born with.
All I’ve ever wanted was to be understood and accepted, to be seen as more than the pitiful kid raised by the system and valued as a person beyond the guy in the jersey. I’ve wanted to be loved. Really loved. The kind that doesn’t turn me away or only sees me as a social stepping stone with a dollar sign attached.
