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I don’t look at her, knowing she’s right. I do know what it is like to be so scared you just do whatever is necessary to make it to the next day.
She reaches over and runs a finger over her son’s cheek. “If you really don’t mind holding him for a bit, I’m going to go make a giant pan of nachos, and then we can knock this event stuff out. We didn’t get much sleep last night. I wonder if he felt a cold chill in the air or the underground rumblings and knew the Dame of Narcissists was coming.”
I laugh, and it feels so good. “I really don’t mind, but nachos?”
“You don’t like nachos?” She draws back like my question is offensive. “I knew I was a good judge of character. Who doesn’t like nachos piled high with all of that spicy goodness? It’s like a taco but so much better. It’s also the best pigout food ever, and after that little showdown, I plan to eat on the couch with my hands like the unrefined woman I am.”
“You add burping and farting to that, and you’ve got yourself the ultimate revenge.” The sound of her laughter is like joy after a crappy day. “Nachos are fine. I’m just usually careful what I eat during the season.”
She rolls her eyes. “Sean, you might just need to learn to live a little. You know, break the rules every now and then. You can eat and return to your finely tuned dietary restrictions tomorrow.”
She throws the blanket down on the couch and goes into the kitchen. I hear the clang of the pan and the beeping of the oven, but as she works, she hums, and it’s the most beautiful sound. I wonder if she hums all the time or even realizes she’s doing it. I can imagine sitting here and watching her play the piano and sing all night.
I peek over my shoulder at her as she spreads chips over a cookie sheet. Her mom said that she looked like a mess, and she kind of does, but she looks like a hot mess, and I don’t mean that in the terrible sense. Her bare shoulder hanging out of the collar of her shirt is sexy as hell, and her knee-high socks are ridiculous, but they’re like a tease leading up to her bare thighs that are slender and defined. Those thighs I already know fit perfectly underneath my hand.
I should not be checking Andie out. I know this. She’s incredibly beautiful, but her honest ability to be completely herself is freaking stunning. There’s no facade or pretense. Her comfort and confidence in herself is intoxicating. The more I’m around her, the closer I want to be to her. She’s refreshing andexhilarating and says she doesn’t like me. I want to think about changing her opinion, but it’s probably safer this way.
I came over here in a piss poor mood, and over the last hour, my entire attitude has changed. I brush my hand over Axel’s head and realize I like it here. I like Andie and how she is with me, and even though I shouldn’t be, I’m really happy I get to stay a little longer.
______
ME: I think I’m in deep shit.
SHANE: What kind? I don’t have time to bail you out, and I’m getting too old to kick your ass.
ME: I think possibly, most definitely, the woman kind.
ME: It’s not good.
SHANE: Shit.
ME: Yeah.
SHANE: Call Maggie.
Chapter 25
ANDIE
“Alright, let’s run through the set list one more time, and then we’ll make sure we’re all set for rehearsal next week.” I grab my binder, flipping through pages, and Jonesy does the same. “So after we welcome the families and introduce ourselves, we’ll start with the first song.”
“And you’ll be introducing Greyson as your…?” Jonesy asks nonchalantly as he flips through.
Nora’s snort from her perch on the couch has me wanting to whip my pen across the room at her.
“As my co-planner on this event.” I try to sound as casual as possible because that’s all he is.
Jonesy runs his hand over the plastic sheet cover of our setlist, smoothing it. “Hmmm. I heard the two of you had dinner together the other night. Here. Alone.” He says ‘alone’ all deep and sexy like it was some romantic candlelit dinner.
I glare at Nora, who’s rolling her lips to keep from laughing. “Yeah, we did. But clearly,Noradidn’t mention that my mother came by. You can imagine how that went, so he stayed while I binged nachos and finalized details. It was sooooo romantic.”
He lets out a soft, low whistle. “That sounds like a good time. He’s a good man for sticking that out.”
It’s true. Sean sat there, and not once did he make me feel bad for how my mother acted. He was kind and thoughtful in asking me if I was ok right in the middle of her tirade, but it was his eyes. They held mine, and it was as if I could physically feel them reading me. In that moment, in the blink of an eye, I’m pretty sure he saw it all. Everything I’d never want him or anyone else to ever see. All of the holes burned into me time and time again for never being enough. For never measuring up and always ending up right back here. Alone.
But he never mentioned it. He held Ax tightly just like I asked him to, and funny enough, it seemed like he enjoyed it.
Seeing him with Ax snuggled up on his chest was something. There’s no denying Sean is a very attractive man, but looking at him with my son sleeping soundly on his chest did something to my insides that I haven’t felt in a really long time. Maybe ever, and that scares me a whole lot.
