Page 91 of Where You Belong


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I pull out a stool at the island, trying to ignore the mess and sarcasm. All week, I’ve had to watch him try to pretend he’s fine, and I’m sick of asking him if he’s ok. He’s like a woman. Stomps around, clammed up, making it clear he’s not ok but never wanting to talk about it.

I’m ready for this drama queen to go back to New York. “My temperamental ass? You’re like a freaking hormonal woman.” I speak in a high tone. “I’m fine. Stomp, stomp, stomp. Slam. Everything is fine.”

Tipping a pan over chicken breast, he stops mid-pour. “Me? I’m like a woman? For days, you’ve been staring at your phone like a teenage girl waiting for her boyfriend to call.”

“Look, she matters to me, and I don’t know what in the hell is going on. I know you think this is stupid, but I’m not like you. I don’t want to run from party to party, wanting the world to believe I’m doing just fine. I got lost in that, but I won’t again. I made a huge mistake with Morgan, and I’m paying for it in more ways than one. Andie has been the best thing that has happened in my life in years. No, probably ever, and I don’t care what you think. I’m not going to just let her walk away without a fight.”

I take a breath. I hadn’t intended to say all of that, but damn, it felt good.

Mark stares at me, the pot still in his hand. He slowly pours the rest of the sauce on the chicken and then turns to set the pot back on the stove before facing me again.

“I was wrong.” His voice is soft and quiet.

“What?!” I bark back, not expecting that from him.

“I was wrong.” He steps back and leans against the counter, crossing his arms. “What I said on the phone about laying low with Andie and her son, I was wrong.” He rubs his unusually scruffy face. “I was probably also wrong about what I said the other day. I don’t think you should just give her space.”

What. The. Hell?Mark never admits to being wrong, even when Google clearly proves it. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I…was…wrong,” he says slowly like I’m an idiot. “I saw the two of you together. I’ve been here the last few days watching you sulk like a sad puppy, and it reminds me of how I’ve felt for the last eight years without Lex.”

Ahhh. Now we’re getting somewhere. Mark’s first and only love, Lex, is getting married. If I wasn’t so distracted, I could’ve guessed this.

“You sit by your phone waiting for her to call?” I ask, hoping to make this easier on him.

“No, dumbass, but if I thought there was a chance in hell she’d call, I’d freaking do nothing else just to be sure I didn’tmiss it. You care about Andie. I’ve never seen you look at a woman, any woman, like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you wanted to take her right there on the field but also…like she’s the one you can’t afford to be without. Bro, that doesn’t happen every day. Plus, I’ve seen you mope around here waiting for her to call, and no man gets his panties all in a bunch unless she really matters.”

“She won’t call me back, though. I can’t make her give this a chance or see what we can be. She doesn’t want any part of this life, and I can’t blame her. It’s brought her nothing but trouble.”

“It brought her you.”

I run a hand over my face. “I’m not sure that’s enough. She lost her husband. Lived apart from him. What I have to offer isn’t much better. We get hurt every day. I may be moving. I don’t even know if pushing her to talk to me is fair.”

Mark raises his shoulders. “It’s just talking. I saw how she was with you. You need that in your life, especially now. You won’t push her for something she’s not ready for, but we don’t give up on friends. We have so few. Don’t give up. Trust me, you don’t want to regret letting something amazing slip away.”

“What are you going to do?” I understand now how much he’s hurting.

His eyes drift to the floor as his arms cross over his chest like he’s protecting himself. “I have no idea. Not much I can do. She’s getting married. I want her to be happy. So damn happy, but I want her to realize she can only be happy with me.”

“It’s been eight years, man,” I cringe.

He runs a hand through his hair and holds it there. “I know, but until that ring is on her finger, I have hope. I have to. It won’t matter how many years go by. I have to believe what Lex and I had was the whole package. I don’t know what happened, and I’llprobably never know, but that hope is what’s been getting me by. In a few weeks, I guess I’ll have to figure something else out.”

I ask a question I’m not sure I should, but given his openness and honesty with me, I’m going for it. “Have you ever thought about going back and talking to her?”

Mark stares at me like I have two heads. “Uh, yes. Pretty much every day.”

“Then why haven’t you?”

He blows out a breath. “Because there’s a very real chance it won’t make one bit of difference, and I’ll have to live the rest of my life knowing I’d made it all up in my head, and it’s really over.”

“But aren’t you going to find that out when she gets married anyway?”

“Yeah, but at least then I don’t have to look into her eyes. I don’t think I could walk away again.”

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