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“It’s not millions,” he said after an uncomfortable pause. “You could have had millions, but you underestimated the power you had in this situation.”
“Please,” I said. “Please let me hold her again.”
He ignored my plea, mumbling something about his attorney coming by to talk to me.
Darkness rushing in, I barely heard him. Nothing mattered without Ella. Nothing at all.
Addy
“Addy, wake up, honey,” Teresa said, sounding concerned. “You’re scaring me acting like this.” The bed inside the walkup Southside apartment Winston had provided for me dipped as she sat beside me. “I made some soup.”
“I don’t want it.” I kept my gaze on the wall, but I didn’t see it. Just her face. Ella’s.
“You have to eat something.”
“Why?”
Tears spilled hot from my eyes. My daughter was lost to me. My mind had retreated like I had after Teresa brought me here from the hospital. I knew I was depressed, but I saw no reason to leave the long dark tunnel.
My body had shut down, like my mind. My milk and all the nurturing hormones had slammed into a brick wall. My body had been prepared to be a mother, even if the rest of me was inadequate.
“Because I care about what happens to you,” she said firmly. “Even if you don’t.”
“You shouldn’t,” I said. “No one should. Taking my side got you fired.”
“I didn’t want to work for that creep anymore.” She exhaled loudly. “Anyway, the club is being sold. The staff has already been let go. I wouldn’t have a job if he hadn’t fired me.”
“You’re making my point,” I mumbled bitterly. “Everything I touch, I ruin.”
“That’s not true, honey,” she said gently. “But I know it feels like that losing Ella.”
“You know nothing about how this feels.” I flipped over and glared at her through my tears. “They took my baby. I only got to hold her once. What kind of monsters do that to someone?”
“The Skellins, that’s who.” Her hazel eyes gleamed. “Rail, Addy. Shout. Be mad. That’s justified. They’re rich, entitled pieces of shit who piss on the rest of us who don’t have fancy clothes and a great big bank account like they do. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I failed my daughter,” I cried out. “If I were smarter or stronger, if I’d listened to your warning back at the beginning, I would never have gotten tangled up with Martin in the first place.”
Teresa shook her head sadly. “Then you wouldn’t have Ella. Lots of times, we have to go through the wrong in this world to get to the right.”
“But I don’t have her.”
“She’s out of your reach now, but she’s not gone. Even if she’s not with you, she’s in a safe and protected environment, a safety that your sacrifice obtained for her. You did the best you could for her and yourself.” Giving me a firm look, she stood with the bowl in her hands and steam rising from the soup in it. “You need to focus on that and what you do have.”
“Which is?” I asked.
“Well, for starters,” she said as she glanced around. “You have this roof over your head.”
“Right back in Southside with nothing that’s my own.”
“You have your freedom.”
“Freedom with strings.”
“That’s all any of us really has, unless you’re a Skellin.” Knowing she had my attention, she continued. “It’s not nothing in your bank account.” She narrowed her eyes. “There’s lots of zeros and only your name on it, just waiting for you to access it.”
“But I can’t use it to hire an attorney to get Ella back.” I didn’t remember a lot about the visit from the stern-faced lawyer at the hospital, but I certainly remembered him mentioning that. “What else matters?”
“You matter.”
