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“There’s room for a dance floor and a stage,” I said thoughtfully, imagining it.
“Absolutely. You see it like I see it.” She nodded approvingly.
“The lot’s big.”
For the first time in a long time, anticipation grew inside me.
“I want it.” I glanced at her and dropped her hand. “Let’s go to the bank.”
After a surprisingly positive meeting with the bank, Teresa and I were both excited and made one more stop for a cell phone. When she dropped me off at my apartment later, I was exhausted. Learning to live again when a part of me was dead inside was difficult. But even without Ella, I was committed to something.
Bit by bit, piece by piece, I would remodel that building, and maybe even myself in the process. I would never have a full life without my baby, but maybe one day, I would see her. Just that tiny chance would keep me from retreating to the tunnel again.
I had this life, and I was steering it forward.
Addy
“Ican’t believe this is all yours,” Rachel said. “That you did it.” As she looked around the newly remodeled interior of Footit’s Place, her eyes were wide.
“This is impressive.” Daniel stood beside her, giving me an approving nod. “You really did most of the remodel yourself?”
“I did. Teresa helped.” Holding my niece in my arms, I felt like my accomplishment opening Footit’s Place was nothing in comparison to theirs, but I appreciated their compliments. “Claire is so beautiful.”
I cooed to her. Running my nose along her soft cheek, I inhaled the sweet baby scent of her.
“I’m glad you finally got to meet her,” Rachel said as she moved closer.
I could feel her need to have Claire back in her own arms. Understanding that desire, I reluctantly relinquished my niece, then turned away to discreetly swipe away my tears.
“I get emotional holding her sometimes too.” Rachel shifted Claire to her hip so she could put an arm around me. Apparently, I hadn’t been discreet enough. “I can’t believe I’m a mother.” She gave me an anxious glance. “I worry sometimes that I’ll get it wrong. Be like our mother.”
“You’re great with Claire.” I turned placed my hands on her shoulders. “You will never be like Mom.”
“Can you give us the grand tour?” Daniel asked. Picking up on the heavy vibe, he tried to lighten the mood. “Or are you too busy?”
I’d invited them for the official grand opening. Footit’s had been open for three weeks now. Word had gotten out, and we were busy every night. I went to bed exhausted. Sometimes I was so exhausted, I even slept through the entire night.
“Of course I’ll give you a tour.” I gestured to the simple wood-topped bar where patrons were lined up several rows deep, trying to get Teresa’s attention. “That’s the bar.”
Rachel smiled. “Yes, we see that.”
“Follow me.” I led them to my office. Opening the door, I gestured. “My office.” It had a desk we’d found on the side of the road, and boxes and boxes of liquor. “It’s also the storeroom until we can expand.” I closed the door.
“Nice stage.” Rachel gestured to the corner where I’d built a raised platform and installed some lighting.
“It’s not much.” I shrugged. “But it’ll do for now. I have a few acts booked already.”
“I’m so proud of you, Addy,” Rachel said, her blue eyes bright. “You never let anything get you down.”
I let plenty get me down, but I kept it inside. My only outlet for the sadness was the letters I continued to write to Ella. Maybe someday, I would be able to see her and give them to her. It wasn’t hope. I didn’t allow myself that anymore. It was just a chance, and it kept me going forward.
“Oh no.” Rachel’s eyes widened, and Daniel moved protectively close to her.
Following the direction of her gaze, I turned my head. Expecting worse, tension flowed from me. It was bad, but it wasn’t Martin. “I can’t believe he’d come here.”
“I’m sorry, Addy.” Daniel shifted closer to me, extending his protection.
My brother-in-law was a good man. I was glad Rachel had found him.
