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A little worried about that, I returned my attention to my niece and affirmed her strong declaration. “I’m glad to hear that, pretty girl.” I reached for another wet glass from the plastic tray that I’d removed from the commercial washer earlier.
Claire stepped toward me. “Let me do the drying for you. I know you’ve been working double time since your busser quit. Or I can mop.” She gestured to the nearby roller bucket filled with soapy water.
Rachel waved a hand. “No mopping. That’s my job. I’ll take care of it.”
She moved away, rolling the bucket toward the seating area where chairs were stacked upside down on tables. It was early, but the bar would start filling up soon.
“If you girls don’t mind,” I said as I eyed them both, “I’d appreciate it if you dried and put away the rest of these glasses.” I reached under the bar and tossed two freshly laundered towels next to the tray.
Missy smiled. “Of course we don’t mind.” Her eagerness to help alleviated my earlier worry.
“I’ll just go in my office, fire up my computer, and start searching for a new busser.” I started to move away, then stopped and turned to face my niece. “You’re a great kid, Claire.” I glanced over at her mother, lowering my voice. “Your mom knows it. She’s just under a lot of stress right now, and she and I didn’t have a great example from our old lady growing up. And then I messed up and let too much time get away.”
Martin was that reason, but Claire didn’t need to know that. She just needed to know that I regretted that loss of time with her.
Continuing, I said, “I’m mad at myself that I didn’t get to see you more over the years.”
“I’m sad that I missed time with you too.” Claire’s voice was husky with emotion, matching mine.
My eyes began to burn, too much regret filling them. But I hadn’t started this conversation thinking of myself. I wanted to help mend the gap between my sister and my niece.
“It only takes one to mend differences between two people who love each other,” I said.
Again, Barry came to mind. He might not still think about me, but I missed my old friend. Maybe I would do more on my computer than just look for a new busser.
“I say that for you, Claire, but also to censure myself. I’m glad your mom reached out when she needed me. I was lonely, and I’d never realized how much until you two moved in.”
“Thank you for taking us in, Aunt Addy.”
“My pleasure, honey. Anything I have, anything I can share, it’s yours.” I glanced at Rachel again, then returned my emotion-filled eyes to Claire. “Don’t give up on your mom. She loves you.”
“Does she?”
“Absolutely.”
“Maybe.” Claire swallowed. “But I’ll never measure up to her standards. Never be who she wants me to be.”
“You impress her more than you know.” I closed the gap between us, placing my dishwashing-chapped hands on her shoulders. “Rachel’s only hard on you because she wants better for you than we had.”
“I know, but—”
“Did she ever tell you about our mother?” I asked.
“She told me about the drugs. And you stepping up to take care of her.”
“She discounted her role entirely. Typical Rach.” I shook my head and felt my messy blond topknot list to the side. I was a sad wreck, but I didn’t want my niece to think of her mother that way.
“How do you mean?” Claire asked, and her friend moved closer. She seemed particularly interested in our family drama.
“Your mom is the tough one, not me,” I said. “She stayed on the straight and narrow while I rebelled against everything and everyone.”
This was an exaggeration. My rebelling had been early on after our father abandoned us.
“If there was something wrong to do, I did it. I guess I was trying to get our mother’s attention. It didn’t work on her, but I got Rachel’s attention. She loved me enough to call me out on my shit.”
That was real love, not sweeping faults under the rug, but lifting the corner and sayingthis is here, it’s bad for you, fix it. I remembered Barry’s last phone call. He had cared for me like that. But did he still care? I didn’t know. But since I hadn’t heard from him, I doubted it.
“Oh.” Claire’s mouth rounded and she glanced at her mother. I hoped she was seeing Rachel in a new light.
