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“Coriander and vegetables, nothing special.”
I didn’t think that was true. I took a few more bites, drank some juice, then pushed my plate away. “I can’t eat any more. Let me clean up since you cooked, but then I need to go. It’s late.”
“Don’t go.” He grabbed my arm before I could fully rise.
“Barry, don’t.” I stared pointedly at his hand, and his fingers around it immediately loosened. “I have to go to work. I’m sure you have to get to yours too.”
“I want to see you again,” he said determinedly. “Tomorrow.”
“I don’t think that would be wise.”
“Fuck wise.” He exhaled heavily, noting my flinch at his vehemence. “Let’s make a deal,” he said in a softer tone while swirling the pad of his thumb in a circle on my skin.
“I don’t make deals.” Although his touch spread warmth and was soothing, his word choice wasn’t. “That washisthing.” My eyes watered. “Bargains, deals.”
Barry searched my gaze, finding truths I wasn’t quick enough to hide. “He ruined so much for you, didn’t he?”
“He ruined me.” Broken but not defeated, I lifted my chin. “I don’t know what you’re looking for, Barry, what you hope to achieve coming back. But I’m not it.”
His stroking stopped. “You are exactly it.”
“Maybe at one time, but not now.” I swallowed, then pushed out the words stuck inside my throat for his sake. “Don’t waste any more of that precious time we talked about on me.” I tried to lighten my tone, but it was a disaster, given the way my voice quivered. “What I mean is find someone less broken.”
“I don’t want anyone else.”
I liked that, but I needed him to understand how hopeless it was. “You’re gorgeous. Lots of women—”
“I’ve done the lots of women thing,” he said, and I took that like a blow, though I had no right to be offended. “I don’t want anyone else.” He squeezed my wrist. “Listen to the words I’m saying instead of dismissing them.”
I gulped. “Barry—”
“No more about the time apart making us strangers.” He glared at me. “We’re not strangers, and we’re no longer remaining just friends.”
“So you say, but—”
“No excuses,” he said, interrupting me again. “Are you going to work out tomorrow?”
“Yes.” I had to work out. I needed to after this. It wasn’t optional.
“Then I’ll see you at the gym. I’ll make breakfast for us again. Come hungry.” He made the wordhungrysound likedesperate for sex, and lifted a brow. “Understand me?”
“Sure,” I said, and he let me go.
But for the rest of the day, I went back and forth on what I thought I understood, wondering if I really did.
Addy
“You okay?” Rachel whispered that night from her side of the bed.
“Yeah, of course.”
I didn’t want to burden her with my stuff. It was probably just my imagination, because surely Barry didn’t mean what I thought he meant.
“You sure?” she asked. “You’ve been tossing and turning for a while now.”
“Sorry. I don’t mean to keep you up,” I mumbled. “Maybe I should sleep on the floor.”
She flipped over and put her hand on my hip. “No way. This is your bed, your apartment. If anyone needs to move to the floor, it will be me.”
