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“Don’t run away. Not from me. Not from the truth.” He placed his hands on my upper thighs, making my skin and all of me burn anew with longing. “Not from this chance for us. Yeah?”
“You didn’t say how you got the funding for all this.” With honesty not working and retreat not allowed, I tried redirection. “Did oil and gas pay so handsomely? Or are you only leasing this space and the upstairs apartment?”
“I own the building.” His brows drew together. “This one and the gym next door.”
“Wow,” I said softly, letting out an awe-filled breath. “I’m in the wrong business.”
He shook his head. “I have a significant amount of flexibility in my bank account, but that surplus didn’t come about until I walked away from the stress and day-to-day danger that went along with on-location work in oil and gas.”
“What came after?” I asked.
“I took some time for myself. I decided to stop running from the feelings I had for you, and discovered a way to channel those emotions into something productive.”
I thought I’d done that with Footit’s, but I was afraid it was merely a way to fill my time. With Rachel and Claire in my life, and now Barry back, I realized how truly empty my life was.
“I need you to be brave,” he said, breaking into my thoughts
He pressed on my legs, holding me in place, and my heart started to race. I didn’t like being pinned down.
Seeming to sense that, he said, “It’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you. I know you prefer to run from the truth, from emotional attachment. You anticipate being disappointed, abandoned, betrayed. Childhood hurts are some of the hardest ones to overcome. I had to work through similar issues. I understand you so well.”
“I’m not a child anymore, Barry.” I lifted my chin. “And I’m no longer that girl you used to understand.”
Who I was now and what I’d done just to gain some distance from Martin wasn’t something he or anyone else could understand.
“I know you’re not the same. You’re an admirably strong, capable, and beautiful woman.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He nodded. “The ingredients for you to become that woman were always there. The parts that drew me then remain. Only it’s more difficult to get to them since your defense mechanisms are stronger.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Though you think I don’t see you, I do,” he said. “You can’t hide from me, because I knew you before. I know how to get in. But I doubt anyone else can get past your defenses to find you.”
I narrowed my eyes. “What makes you so sure you got in?”
He narrowed his in return. “You let me in whether you want to admit it or not. But I get that my admittance only extends so far. I feel the wall you have around you now. It’s impossible to ignore it since I keep running into it.”
“I have to have defenses. I live here alone in this world.” Bristling, I said, “You got out. You got away. You lived your life.”
“Because you left me no other alternative. But that was then.” His jaw firmed. “Now I’m a man, and I push when I need to. How did you get the money for your business, Addy?”
I jerked back, not expecting him to turn my question around on me.
“And how about that scar on your back?”
“Let me go. Please.” I dropped my chin.
My chest and eyes burning with shame, I squirmed, trying again to get free.
“No, babe.” He clamped his hands down harder. “Not until you’re honest with me. No more secrets anymore. They’re not allowed between us.”
“Why?” I cried. “What do you want?”
“You, Addy. I want you.”
“I’m too messed up to have.”
