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“At least sleep on it, Theo. If you want to know the truth in the morning, the antidote will be with Loma in the apothecary. If you decide to leave, I won’t stop you, and I won’t come after you. You’ll be on your own.” He halts, grasping the door handle.
Devastation consumes me, as I know he won’t believe me. I’ve lost him, and I have no way of ever getting him back. “I should have let Oren kill me all those years ago. At least death would have been more merciful and painless than this right now. Your denial of what we are hurts more than anything Oren ever did to me.” I can’t hold back the tears anymore. They fall like rain down my cheeks.
A breath later, the door of The Keep opens and slams shut. Theo’s gone, likely forever. My heart shatters into a million pieces as I try to will myself to walk back inside. I’m a shell of a mortal as parts of my soul chip away with each step. A deep heaviness settles in my stomach knowing I’ll never be whole again.
As the door clicks, light footsteps scramble behind me as Kira pops out from an alcove in the hallway, tears stream down her face.
“Oh, my gods. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know he was your Amari. I can’t take it back. I’m so sorry,” her words are broken and make no sense. They barely register as my realm crumbles.
“Not now, Kira,” is all I can say as I choke back sobs.
“I thought he stole you from me. I never thought he could be your Amari. I can’t stop it now. It’s too late,” she wails as she steps toward me.
“Not now, Kira! Go away!” I scream as the dam inside me breaks. My shadows burst from me like large black raven wings stretching from my sides, waving as if in mid-flight. Ash consumes my mouth as my emotions and power become untethered.
My knees and hands slam into the floor. The ground shakes with the impact. The well at my core transforms into a bottomless pit of darkness. Black seeps into my vision, stealing all color and light. And I welcome it. The thunderous beating of my heart echoes in my ears as I allow the dark to pull me down with it.
The warm scent of leather invades my senses as large hands pull at me, lifting me to sit back. “What’s going on?” Nyx’s voice cuts through the pounding in my ears. I can’t see him through the dark haze clouding my eyes. A ragged gasp comes from Nyx as his fingers dig into my arms.
“Lily?” his voice wavers. The darkness invading my mind pulsates, flashing in harsh hues, too quick for me to see clearly. Nyx cups my face, hands trembling.
“Whatever happened, we can fix it. I need you to come back to me. Please, Lily.” His voice cracks as he presses his forehead to mine. I fight the hold my power has on me, but the talons dig deeper.
I grapple at Nyx’s chest, trying to anchor myself to the present. I yank him hard into me, burying my face in the crook of his neck. His muscular arms wrap tightly around me, and I inhale his musky smoke scent.
With all my mental strength, I push back against my power trying to take full control and drag me into the darkness, never to be seen again. I force the lid over my well. A faint hiss, as if water douses the embers of a fire, echoes in my mind as the seal falls into place.
I sag in Nyx’s arms as sobs rip through me. He squeezes me hard, his breathing as ragged as mine. He shifts me, sliding an arm under my legs and lifts me into the air.
Nyx tucks me firmly into his chest and walks me back to my chambers. He sets me down on the edge of my bed. He tilts my face up toward him, but I can barely see him through my tears.
He seems to sigh in relief when he looks at me. “What happened?” Nyx asks, his voice gentle.
“He refused to believe me. He won’t take the antidote.” A choked sob escapes as I try to speak. Nyx closes his eyes, taking a deep breath.
“In the hallway, Lily. Your eyes were black. It felt like you were being pulled away from me. The cord was tight. Is that what you meant by your power feeling different lately?” he asks as his eyes scan me, looking for anything out of place.
“Maybe. I’m not sure. My power was pulling me in, wanting full control. It was different, like something ancient was crawling out of my well. Clawing its way through my mind and not letting go,” I answer, confused by all of it myself.
Nyx’s hand falls from my chin, and he abruptly turns away. I snatch his wrist, pulling him back. “Where are you going?”
“Everything starts and stops with Theo. I think it’s time the captain and I have a talk,” he says with a huff.
“No. Please stay. I need you. I don’t want to be alone right now, Nyx,” I plead, tugging him back to me. He huffs before taking a seat beside me and drawing me close to his side. Tension ripples through him, causing his muscles to twitch.
“What do you want to do now?” he asks, looking down at me. Reaching into my pocket, I pull out the antidote and hand it over to him.
“There’s nothing we can do. He’s made his choice. Please take this to Loma in the morning. I don’t think I can face her right now.” He nods in agreement.
I pull out from his side and crawl up my bed, tucking under the covers. Theo’s cedar scent welcomes me as I lie down and soak it in one last time. I pat the bed behind me for Nyx to come lie with me.
He joins me, wrapping an arm around me. He places a soft kiss on the back of my head. “I’ll fix this, Lily. I’ll figure this out. I promise.” The only response I can give is a small nod, as sobs overtake me, and I cry myself to sleep.
