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I climb back into bed with him and pull the rough blanket up around us.
“Goodbye, Theo. May the fates decide I’m worthy of you and bring you back to me. It has always been you and will always be you,” I say as the first tears slide down my cheeks.
The words cut deep as I say them out loud, and I allow myself to cry softly in the dark where no one can see. I was a fool to think the fates would bless me with a happy ending when all I’ve known for ten years is pain and destruction.
I fall asleep to the soft sound of Theo’s breathing and the feel of his body touching mine.
I wake in the morning as the sun is cresting the landscape, painting the sky in light blues and purples. Theo is still sleeping soundly beside me. Rising from the bed, I take a seat in a chair and put on my boots, tucking my knife inside.
Walking over to Theo, I brush his hair off his forehead, and he smiles in his sleep as if enjoying a delicious dream. The smell of cedar fills the air around him. I study his face, trying to memorize every inch. I place a light kiss on his cheek as more tears streak mine.
“Always. Until my last breath, I am yours, and I will keep you safe. Look for me in the shadows,” I say, wishing a part of him could hear me and remember who I am.
I step quietly out of the room and take a deep breath of the fresh morning air, trying to stop the sobs from escaping. It’s what is best for him. He deserves a good woman to share his light, not a monster of the dark.
Knowing that I’m right doesn’t lessen the pain of my shattered heart. I knew this would hurt, but it feels like a knife ripping apart my soul. I want to run away—to drive my body fast and far before it collapses. Maybe then the ache will fade.
I take another deep breath and start to make my way back to Amelia’s to gather my things. The village is still quiet, with a few of the shop owners starting to make their way to work. There is the smell of bread from the bakery wafting on a breeze and the clicking of shoes on the cobblestones. The air is still cool from the evening, causing me to shiver.
I walk through the door of Amelia’s home several minutes later, in better control of my emotions. I gather some clothes and head to the bathing chamber to change. A pitcher of water is already by the basin, and a clean cloth is set beside it. I’m going to miss Amelia’s thoughtfulness. I don’t have many genuine friends, but I consider her to be one of them.
Freshening up quickly, I dress in my travel clothes: a pair of black trousers, a black short-sleeved blouse, and a black corset vest. It feels good to be partially back in my usual attire. I left the rest of my blades and gear in Fati, along with my horse Midnight, under the care of a farmer and his family, who were more than happy to take the extra coin.
I walk out of the bathing chamber to find Amelia sitting at the table waiting on me. There is a smile on her face, but tears in her eyes. I go to her with my arms outstretched and pull her into a tight embrace. Amelia sobs into my shoulder, and I struggle to hold back my own tears.
While we can write letters as we always have, the thought of never seeing her again hurts. I hope one day I can come back. But until then, I’ll deeply miss my friend.
“I wish you didn’t have to go, V,” Amelia says into my shoulder.
“Me too. But we both know I can’t pass up an opportunity to make good money at the vineyard,” I say into her hair.
We pull apart and hold hands in the space between us.
“I know, but it doesn’t make it feel any less like I’m losing you forever,” she says in a broken voice.
I close my eyes and nod, unable to offer words that will lessen this heartache.
“Plus, I won’t get to see if anything comes of you and Captain Kincaid,” she says, and I can hear the smile on her face without even seeing it.
I open my eyes to see her smiling mischievously.
“It was one night of fun,” I say, shoving her shoulder playfully.
“Whatever you want to tell yourself,” she replies with a giggle.
Our tears dry up and the moment feels lighter.
“Are you at least going to tell me how amazing he was?” she asks, raising her eyebrows.
I won’t be sharing that with anyone, even if it is absolutely true.
“A lady doesn’t kiss and tell, Amelia!” I reply with fake outrage.
“You would have to be a lady for that to be true, and we both know we are far from lady quality,” she says jokingly.
We both start laughing and the tension in the air dissipates.
“I better head out now before the portal gets too busy with the morning transports,” I say, giving her hands a squeeze.
