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An uncomfortable smile pulls at my lips, showing far too many teeth. An irritated groan cuts through the room as Nyx drags his hands down his face.
“I was only going to watch him and make sure he was ok. I had to make sure Leopold was holding up his end of the deal even after Oren died,” I say.
A condescending laugh comes from my best friend as he rolls his eyes.
“Yeah, I’m sure you were going to watch him,” he says with reproach.
Searching for something to throw at him, I come up empty. I settle for narrowing my eyes until they are slits. “That’s all I did ... until two months ago,” I retort.
With his head cocked toward me, he blinks slowly, “Why doesn’t he remember you from then?” he asks.
A valid question, but an uncomfortable one.
I lower my gaze and tap my fingertips together in my lap.
“Because I gave him a rowanberry elixir,” I confess. “I had a moment of weakness and tried telling him the truth, which was a huge mistake and dangerous—I know, you don’t have to tell me. And he freaked out; his head was in so much pain, like trying to unlock the memory was killing him. I had to make him forget. Again. So, I did what I had to do.”
Nyx rubs at his temples, appearing to have developed a headache from the information overload.
“You drugged the man you supposedly love? I get why you did it, but dear gods, Lily,” he groans.
I sit back in my chair, letting out a sigh.
“I didn’t like it either,” I retort.
Crossing my legs at the ankles, I sink deeper into my chair. While my heart feels lighter after telling Nyx the truth, it remains heavy with worry about what to do next.
“I don’t trust him, Lily. He sees us all as cruel monsters. Lux teaches their people that we live with no morals. We need to be careful. You may remember him, but all he sees is his enemy,” Nyx warns.
“I know. I was raised there, remember?” I say teasingly, but a rough yawn breaks my words.
“Come on. Let’s get you to bed, and we can talk more tomorrow. We both know how cranky you get if you don’t get rest,” he says, standing.
I laugh, knowing he’s right. I’m worse than Midnight if I don’t get enough sleep.
I slide my hand into his outstretched palm, and he helps me rise and draws me to his chest. Our embrace is filled with pain, frustration, and sadness.
“Get some rest, and I will see you first thing in the morning. And Lily,” he pushes my chin up to meet his gaze, “please, no more secrets. I can’t protect you if I don’t know the threats.”
I nod and squeeze him tight. A soft kiss on my head makes me smile into his chest. Nyx lets me go and looks at me warmly before turning to leave my chambers.
Locking my doors, I slip out of my clothes and crawl into the luxuriously soft sheets. It doesn’t take long before sleep overtakes me.
“Please don’t make me do this, Oren,” I plead as a sob gets caught in my throat.
“Do as I have ordered, or he dies,” Oren retorts, tightening the shadows twisted around Tobias’ throat. Tobias claws at the black tendrils, but it’s no use. His feet kick frantically as Oren slowly cuts off his air.
“They have done nothing. There’s no need to kill them. Please stop.” I beg again, hoping to break through to Oren. I look over at the three mortals tied to chairs in the middle of their home. A tearful mother and father with their sixteen-year-old son.
“You don’t ask questions, girl. You do as you are told. Break the deal and you know what will happen.” Oren steps closer to me as Tobias’ lips turn blue. A tear slides down my cheek as our eyes lock. Tobias stops fighting Oren’s shadows. He nods as if he’s giving me permission to let Oren end his life. But I can’t survive without him. Who would care for me after each punishment? Who would find Loma to heal my wounds? I need him to keep me mortal. Nyx needs his father.
“Fine. I’ll do it. Put him down.” I shove down every emotion trying to bubble to the surface. I won’t make it through this test if I don’t swallow every ounce of my mortality.
Oren places Tobias down on the rough wood floor of the home. He gasps as air finally returns to him. But Oren doesn’t remove his shadows. One thick tendril still lingers around Tobias’ throat in case I try to resist again. Tobias’ eyes meet mine, filled with a deep, painful sorrow, knowing what he is going to have to watch me do. But I’ll do anything to keep them all safe.
I step to the closest mortal, the mother. Her sob cracks through me, and I squeeze my eyes shut to compose myself.
“They have information I want. Start with their fingers, and we’ll go from there. This all stops when you get them to talk,” Oren commands. I take in a deep breath, praying to the gods to help, but they never answer.
