AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“And when she went with Hunter and Lucas to the crash and they had to defend themselves against Raven, all I kept picturing was a gritty teenage mutant assassin…” She struggles. “Yeah, okay, I lost the thread there, but you get where I was going with it. Honestly, I could use more of the investigation element. Oh, especially when Haisley gets sick of being sidelined. Because hello, she’s only eighteen and in way over her head, but it’s her working on her own that eventually leads them to those missing kids. Really scratched an itch for that mystery solving in my brain.”
Cassie taps on the counter. “Can I be honest about something?”
It’s strange to hear someone else ask the question. I try to tamp down the lump of fear that has started rolling around my gut.
Dropping my hands, I say, “Always. What’s up?”
“It’s just.” She stops, and now I know it’s something I don’t want to hear. “When you gave me the book, you said you appreciated feedback, and I’m trying to work out the best way to say this.”
I can handle this. I know I can.
Breathe.
“Rip the Band-Aid off.”
She chuckles. “She shouldn’t end up with Drake.”
I hear the words and I wait for… something. Pain? Anger? Everything I pictured when the worst-case scenario played out in my head. But it isn’t there. Mostly, I’m curious.
“Why? Who did you want her to be with?”
“Hunter. He’s known her for years. He’s the first to realize she snuck off on her own, and even though you said Drake gets to her first, Hunter is the guy who has her back when Raven attacks.”
Huh. None of that occurred to me. He would be a good choice, though, and I could make the broody stranger the red herring.
There’s so much more to do now if I want to go this way, and do I even want to?
The whole third act would need to get rewritten. No, scratch that. No matter who I choose, everything will need tweaking. If it’s Drake, then I need to get to the bottom of why he isn’t working, why their attraction isn’t coming across as I intended. And probably, based on what Cassie has said, I need to work him into the story a lot sooner.
But if I choose Hunter, then the decision becomesdo I keep Drake in the story?Yes, because she needs to think he’s double crossed them at the end. Or should that also be Hunter? Except he’s supposed to be getting the kids to safety.
Shit.
“Is everything okay? You look like I’ve just smoked you out of the hive.”
Honestly, I’m relieved. I have the sudden urge to hugher right now for giving me this. Outside of my editor and now Sebastian—who has very little reason to criticize the hand that jerks him—I’ve never had anyone give me feedback on my writing before, and despite how much work this now means I have to do, it’s also like I’ve been filled up with jet fuel and lit on fire.
But in a good way.
“I could kiss you.” Already, my fingers are typing as fast as I can, until I’m left with a jumble of all caps notes to the tune ofMAKE HUNTER LOVE INTERESTandDRAKE DOUBLE CROSS?andUPDATE RESCUE.
A small piece of the puzzle falls into place, and I can’t wait to tell Sebastian later.
“I wasn’t joking about paying you to market for me. If I could sell this story as well as you do, I wouldn’t be half as terrified to submit it.”
“If it scares you so much, why do it at all? I’m sure there are other options. Becca asked me again yesterday if you’d consider holding a Q&A at the library.”
I thought she might. She’s already tried me twice.
“Even if you can’t talk about which books you wrote, you can talk about writing as a whole. The library is always looking for speakers to run information nights, and I know the community college would love to hear from a published writer.”
“I don’t know.” I’m not sure what I’d have to offer.
“Think about it. No pressure.”
The bees are much calmer than I’m expecting, floating around us and barely paying us any mind. They come and go from her flowerbed, and Cassie explains that they favor staying close to the queen, even though they will travel upto five miles if food is scarce nearby. “They’re homebodies, just like me.”
I can relate.
