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He snorted in amusement. “First of all, you would look pretty weird walking around with a penis and boobs. Second, I still wouldn’tlet you enter because it’s dangerous and I don’t want you getting hurt, Wilder. Do I need to call Edith on this?”
“Who’s Edith?” I asked.
“My…mom person.”
“What’s a mom person?” I was so confused by the linguistics of this conversation.
“She was my mom’s best friend and she looks out for me.”
Okay, that made a lot more sense. “Yep, I say we call her in.”
Laura spun on Andrew, grabbing his phone just as he was about to place a call. “You will do no such thing. I’m not a child!”
“Wilder, I know you’re not a child, but you’ve always been like this. Remember the tree house where you were so sure you could tie a rope to your leg and fly like Superman?”
“I was six!”
“Or the time you thought it was smart to cross the river in flip flops?”
“Okay, that was one time! Do you have to bring it up every time something happens?”
“I don’t have to, but I’m gonna.”
I watched their back and forth in desperation. I wanted her to be having this kind of argument with me. That had to be the silliest thing I’d ever thought in my head, but it was true. They had such an easy relationship. It was no wonder she wasn’t interested in me. She had a ready-made husband right here.
“What is all this arguing about?”
A woman all dolled up in a tight dress and heels walked over to us, shaking her head at Laura and Andrew.
“I swear, I can never leave you two alone. Now, what’s the problem?”
“Laura thinks it’s a good idea to go in the house when there are men here that can do the work for her,” Andrew said, grinning at Laura.
“And this chauvinistic pig thinks that because I don’t have a penis, I shouldn’t go inside.”
“It’s not just that you don’t have a penis, Wilder. You also don’t have the muscle strength if something falls on you.”
“If something fell on me, I would need more than muscles,” she shot back.
I chuckled at the argument, finding it kind of hilarious.
“And who are you?” the woman asked, raising an eyebrow at me.
“Edith, this is Dash. He’s the man who rescued me from the house after the tornado.”
Her eyes lit with amusement as she looked me up and down. I got the distinct feeling that she was checking me out—and not in a motherly way. “So, you’re the man who saw Laura in a shower curtain.”
I cleared my throat uncomfortably. While I didn’t mind talking about this, it was a little weird with an older woman. “Yes, ma’am.”
“I’m sorry, did you just call me ma’am?”
“Um…”
“Oh, you did it now,” Andrew chuckled.
Edith slid the sunglasses from her face and glared at me. “Do I look old to you?”
Shit, I was caught in one of those traps that women lay out. I knew the answer, but was pretty sure no matter what I said, it would come back to bite me. “Um…not at all.”
