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Teagan grunts and pinches the bridge of his nose, looking more distraught than I’ve seen him in a long time. I almost feel sorry for him.Almost.
“Just . . . spare me the gory details, but yeah, I wanna know.”
I shake my head, wondering where to start because in truth, this war between me and Jace started a long time ago, and I’m not sure when my feelings started. Pinpointing the exact moment I felt something more for him feels a little murky.
“One minute we were hating each other and the next . . .” My gaze shifts out into the yard. Below the porch a butterfly floats around the purple tufts of Mom’s lavender. “He’s different than I thought he was. There’s so much more to him than meets the eye. People don’t give him enough credit.”
Teagan snorts, and I turn my narrowed gaze on him.
“Including you,” I say, watching that sink in. “He’s your best friend, you know. Or at least he was, until you acted like an idiot yesterday.” Teagan’s eyes darken and the muscle in his jaw flickers, but I keep going. “There has to besomereason you kept him around all these years. He’s been your best friend for a long time. Was it only because he’s a fun time and good with a football? Because if there’s nothing more to him or your friendship, then maybe I’ve misread you. Maybe I’ve been wrong about you, too.”
“Of course not,” he snaps. “There are plenty of reasons why we’re friends, but that’s not the point.”
“How is it not the point?”
He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out.
“You want to know what I think?” I arch a brow.
“No, but I have a feeling you’re gonna tell me anyway.” He sighs and leans forward, his elbows braced on his knees.
“I think you know what an amazing person he is. And I think you realize the reason he’s bounced from girl to girl is because his parents are never around. He doesn’t know what love feels like, let alone what it looks like. All they’ve ever taught him is that he’s not enough, and people who love you, leave.” Teagan bows his head, his throat working, but I don’t let up. “Jace has wounds, but you look past them because he’s your friend. Youlove him anyway, and he’s been nothing but loyal to you from day one. He’s been there for you, your whole crew. For years, he’s held your little group together like glue. When you want a good time or a laugh, you call Jace. If you need help, you call Jace, because you know he’ll be there. You want to lift someone up? Jace. He’s funny and smart and considerate. But for some reason, you think he’s not good enough for me. Why?” I demand.
His mouth opens, and he straightens on the swing, but it takes him a moment to speak. “He doesn’t do relationships. The reasons why don’t really matter because he’s never been serious about a girl in his life, and you deserve better than someone who bounces from bed to bed.”
A ball of anger fists in my spine. “But isn’t that for me to decide? And who says when he finds the right one, that won’t change?”
“It’s Jace.” He lets out a dry laugh and turns to me, meeting my eyes. “Hell, you saw how he was acting the other night. If he cares so much about you, why was he letting those chicks hang all over him? Is that the kind of guy you want?”
“He was scared.”
Teagan snorts.
“He didn’t want to lose you, T,” I snap, feeling my composure slip. “When he overheard you talking to Graham and saying he’d be dead to you if we were hooking up, he freaked out. And, okay, maybe he overcompensated a bit, but it turns out he had every reason to worry.” Teagan pales. “You didn’t know that, did you?”
I wait, but when he says nothing, I continue, “We talked about it before we came home, and we both agreed to keep us a secret until after football season.” Teagan’s face twists like he doesn’t want to believe it. “He’s been nothing but petrified of your reaction to us being together since the start, so much so he was willing to risk what we have in order to keep you from throwing a tantrum.”
“He could’ve come to me like a man first and asked if—”
“I don’t need your permission, Teagan!” I shove at his shoulder. “I’m my own person, and I can decide who I want to date.”
His throat bobs. “Fine. Maybe you’re right. But if I recall, it sounded a whole lot like I walked in on you breaking up with him. At least that’s what it sounded like, so why the hell are you defending him?”
“Because . . .” I trail off, my throat so tight I can’t push the words past.
Because I’m scared.
Afraid he won’t believe me.
That he’ll choose Knox over me.
“There’s more to it than that,” I say because I can’t tell Teagan. Not yet. “But it hurts that after all this time you can’t trust my judgment. After everything I’ve been through, it’s offensive you think I don’t have a mind of my own, or can’t think for myself and make my own decisions.”
“It’s not that—”
“I trusted the wrong person in high school. I took one look at those anonymous love letters with hearts in my eyes and fell right into his trap.”Knox’s trap.“But I’ve learned from that mistake. I’m not as naive as I once was. I don’t go into anything without my eyes wide open.”
I knew what I was getting into with Jace. I just didn’t plan on Knox ruining it. But in the end, I had to protect my heart.
