Page 135 of Tell Me You Love Me


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The fact of the matter is, I’ve spent my whole life playing second fiddle to Dad’s career and their relationship. I’ve always been left behind, forgotten, and it’s made me question if I’m even worth it. Maybe Brynn dumping me is just further proof that I’m not.

Before yesterday, my biggest fear was being alone. Now I realize how wrong I was.

Because my biggest fear is not being enough for the people in my life to want to stick around. A bitter laugh bubbles in the back of my throat at just how fucking pathetic I sound.

Unable to take anymore, I rise from the chair and head back into the house, making a beeline for the bar. I’ve promised myself one more day of getting wasted and forgetting my problems before I deal with them. But I only get a couple feet inside before my doorbell rings, and I groan.

I can’t think of one person who wants to see me right now, except maybe Atlas, Graham, or Knox—that’s if Teagan hasn’t trashed my name already. Regardless, I’m not in the mood for company.

I pause at the wet bar, my hands fisting a bottle of liquor with a name I can’t pronounce. I think it’s French. I don’t know. Itlooks expensive, and it probably is—one of my father’s imports—but as long as it does the job, I don’t give a shit what it is. It all tastes like ass anyway.

The doorbell rings again, and I tip my head back with a sigh before I yell, “Coming!” and make my way toward the front of the house and swing open the door.

I suck in a breath at the sight of Nikki Nichols, gaping at her as my cheeks flush with shame. “Hey, Mrs. Nichols.”

She arches a brow blonde brow. “Mrs. Nichols? You haven’t called me that since the sixth grade.”

My hands begin to sweat as I hold onto the door, glancing outside for signs of Teagan. Maybe he’s waiting in the bushes to jump me.

“He’s not with me,” she says, reading my mind. “Can I come in?”

I step back, embarrassed I forgot my manners and hating how awkward I feel. “Sorry,” I mumble as she glances around the cavernous foyer before I wave her on. “The living room’s over here,” I say, turning and heading down the hall to our right. I take a seat in one of the stiff sofas while I assess my home with fresh eyes. In comparison to the Nichols’ household, it’s cold and dark and uninviting, devoid of everything I love so much about it there. The walls are filled with expensive artwork rather than old drawings from when I was a child. There are no photographs from family vacations or scuff marks on the floors. No toys littering the ground. Everything is in its place and pristine, unused. Their house is lived in and filled with love while mine looks more feels more like a museum.

As if reading my thoughts, Nikki glances around her. “You have this big old place all to yourself?”

I clear my throat and nod, and when Nikki returns my gaze, her blue eyes soften. “Teagan told me what happened.”

I drop my gaze to the floor, unsure I want to hear what she thinks of me. “I’m sorry.”

“For what exactly? For falling for my daughter?”

My gaze flickers back to her, and I frown. “Well, no, but for . . . not being honest about it, I guess.”

“But you have fallen for her, haven’t you, Jace?” She reaches out and places a hand over mine as I shrug guiltily. “I should be thanking you.”

My brows rise. I’m not sure I heard her right. “Excuse me, but what?”

She smiles and there’s so much affection in it, my heart clenches in my chest. “There was a time when Joe and I were so worried about her. One minute we had this vibrant, funny, energetic teenage girl and the next, she was replaced with someone we didn’t recognize. She was sullen, cynical, and withdrawn. We went round and round with her, asking if something happened, asking how we could help. Eventually, we got to the point where we feared pushing might be hurting more than it was helping, so we stopped. After a while, she got a little better and we saw a glimmer of her old self, so we let it go entirely. But she never really returned to being the carefree version of Brynn she was before.”

She shakes her head, emotion swirling in the soft blue of her eyes, and I have to force myself to glance away, afraid she’ll see in my expression that I know. That Brynn told me about the night that changed her.

“That is, until this week.” My head lifts. “This week, she was happier than I’ve seen her in a long time. The brooding, cynical girl was gone, and in her place stood the bright young lady I thought we’d lost. I suspected a boy might be the reason, which is why I asked her about it.” She shrugs, holding her hands out, palms up. “Mom’s intuition. Looks like I was right.”

I shake my head. “I don’t know about all that.”

“I do.” Nikki tips her head and squeezes my arm. “I’m not saying there aren’t other factors that caused the change, but you were definitely a huge part of that.”

I swallow, my previous guilt returning with a vengeance. “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you.”

“Eh,” she shrugs and waves a hand as if it’s nothing, “I can understand why you didn’t. Teagan can be . . . overprotective.” She grins. “But he’ll get over it. In fact, I suspect he’s already getting over it right now.”

“I don’t know . . .” I want to believe her, but the look in Teagan’s eyes is seared into my memory.

“Well, I do.” She slaps her hands on her legs as if the conversation is over and her word is final.

I wish it were that easy.

“I also want you to know that you’re welcome in our home any time, even if you’re not dating my daughter or friends with my son.”

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