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Ella: Listening now. Waiting is meaningless.
I chuckled at this one.
A week later, my question changed.
Me: Are you ever going to choose Dare?
Ella: No.
Me: Why?
Ella: Because you’ll make me do something I’ll regret.
Me: Like what?
Was she saying I’d dare her to see me? Or kiss me? Because she was so right.
Did that mean I was getting through to her? She was talking to me more and more as the days passed. Yesterday, she’d told me she designed clothes and had sent me pictures of her fashion designs and portfolio. I’d asked questions, but she never let me know too much.
Still, it was better than nothing. In fact, every day, I thrilled when my phone’s screen lit up.
Gemma and my mom wanted to come over to talk about their Christmas plans, but I had to raincheck. I was spending the night at the corporate office because meetings had run so late. I changed out of my corporate clothes and into the t-shirt and sweats I kept on hand for occasions such as this.
Settling down on the futon in my office, I rubbed my fingers along the Xbox remote and then paused, pulling out my phone instead.
Me: What are you doing right now?
Ella: Talking to my stylist. She’s having a hard time this Christmas. Her husband just died.
Me: That sucks.
Ella: I’d like to do something for her, but I’m not sure what.
I sank back onto the futon, resting a hand behind my head and considering. A myriad of ideas tumbled through. I could already see it now—giving her a new car or helping pay off her husband’s debts…
If it got Ella to notice, so much the better.
Me: I’ll help.
Ella: No, thanks.
My disappointment was stark, but she was probably right. I tended to go overboard with stuff. It was better to leave me out of it.
Bolstered by her opening up to me, the next day while chilling in my office once more, this time sitting at my desk in a suit and tie, I built from that and asked her a question more personal than any other thus far, one that had bothered me since we’d left the wedding:
Me: Why don’t you want to see me?
Ella: You’re too full of yourself.
I didn’t believe that. That may have been the case back in Montana, but I wasn’t sure she still thought that of me now.
Ella: You see yourself enough for the both of us.
I was confident that was true, but her words hurt. Gemma had told me the same thing more than once, buthearing criticism from someone other than my sister meant more somehow.
Me: Is that really how you see me?
If that was the case, then why did she bother talking to me at all?
