Ella: Should I see you any differently?
Me: You could. If you’d let me in.
I could show her aspects of me people rarely saw. I was a kid at heart. I had a major sweet tooth. I was claustrophobic in tight spaces. I loved to snowboard, and video games were my favorite pastime.
A business major in college but only at my dad’s request because I knew I’d be inheriting his sprawling company. I’d worked hard to prepare myself for it, even when it wasn’t something I would have chosen for myself.
What if Ella could see that side of me?
She didn’t answer me for a few days after that one.
Three days later, I tried again.
Me: Truth or dare?
Ella: Do you have to ask?
Me: Are you in arelationship?
Ella: No.
Me: What if you gave me a chance?
This one I braced myself for another one-word or flippant answer or for her to ignore me again, but she surprised me again.
Ella: I deal with drama on a daily basis. You’re a risk I can’t take.
What did that mean?
Me: That’s why I wish you’d open up to me. What if we were friends? What if I could help you?
Ella: No, thanks.
Here was the moment of no return, but it was something I had to ask. I couldn’t keep pursuing her if I really didn’t stand a chance. My pride could only handle so much.
I liked her. I had to know if she had any interest in me at all.
Me: Do you want me to stop texting you?
Ella: Truth?
Me: Truth.
My heart pounded.This was the first time since our flight to Montana that she’d extendedthat question to me, which meant she was going to be brutally honest. I hoped she didn’t shut me down. I didn’t want to let her go.
Ella: No.
My heart swelled. I grinned like a fool and drummed my fingers on the edge of my desk, staring at the armless leather chairs sitting around a glass coffee table in the room’s center.
No.She wanted me to text her. That meant I wasn’t completely repulsive to her.
Score.
But then December hit, and she stopped replying.
I texted every day—and every day I was met with silence. She’d said she was moving after Christmas. Had she already moved? If so, why hadn’t she said as much?
Why not let me in? I could help her.