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But the question, without the hostility, rattled around in my head. How was I supposed to let go when I held my life together with both hands? At the end of the day, I was the one responsible for me. I was the one who would still be here after they left. I was alone. I couldn’t afford to let go for longer than the space of time they helped me. Because if I did, everything would fall apart.
“I didn’t mean to shut you down.”
“It’s not as simple as it seems,” I told him. “I… can’t do that.”
“What if you could?”
I huffed a laugh. “Then it would be great. But I can’t. I don’t have anyone else, Joel. My family and my friends—” I broke off. “It’s not the same. It’s not like being someone’s priority. And I miss that. Even more so when I realize I wasneversomeone’s priority, I only thought I was. After the wedding, when you all are back to your lives, I’ll still be here, and no one’s priority.”
Joel’s fingers stilled on my thigh, nothing but silence filling the surrounding air.
“Sorry.” I scrubbed a hand over my face. “Must be more tired than I thought.”
He sat up in the tub and took me with him, wrapping his body firmly around mine. His arms held mine against me in an embrace, his legs pressed against the outsides of mine. “Don’t apologize. Please. Not for saying what you feel. I’m sorry for asking a question that took you there.”
I sagged into his hold, trying to imagine this all the time. The ability to break andknowsomeone would clean up the pieces. Tears pricked the back of my eyes at the thought.
“You are my priority,” he whispered.
The tears grew.
“What’s going on in here?” Cade stood in the doorway with a mischievous smile that dropped away when he saw me. “Isolde, what’s wrong?”
“It’s me,” Joel leaned back with me again, keeping me close while spreading my legs with his. This time when he let his hand creep downward, he brushed my clit. “Asking Isolde questions instead of doing what I promised and making her feel good.”
He touched me slowly, like a sensual massage. Not trying to make me come, but merely making my bodyawareof his and his moving fingers. It felt good, despite everything.
Cade smirked and came over to the tub. “If he’s bothering you, princess, you can come with me and I’ll take care of you. I’ve been wanting to show you my rope.”
My eyes went wide, and Joel pulled me more firmly to him. “Mine.” But the word was playful.
I reached for Cade’s hand. He crouched by the tub to take mine, smoothing his thumb along my wet skin. “I do want that. But after last night, I’m still really tired.”
“After the bachelor parties then. If you want.”
“I very much want.”
Cade’s eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled, and the scruff on his jaw made him look even better than he already did. “Then it’s a date. What’s your favorite color?”
“Why?”
“It’s a surprise.”
I rolled my eyes, but smiled. “Emerald green.”
“Like your party dress.”
“Yeah. Rin knows how to pick things I can’t resist. The one I’d picked was black.”
He lifted my hand and kissed the back before standing. “I’m glad you wore the green. Now I’ll let you get back to relaxing. Sorry I interrupted.” Cade left with a wink.
Joel’s fingers still moved slowly over me, barely brushing my entrance before retreating to my clit, over and over again. A gentle purr that kept me relaxed and limp. I hadn’t even realized my eyes were closing until Joel moved, and I jerked awake.
“Sorry,” he murmured into my hair. “I’m going to move us to the bed, okay?”
“Kay.”
He dried me off, and I found myself in the center of the big bed, wrapped in a blanket so soft I had no idea where it came from. Then Joel was with me, curling me further into the blanket, arranging us together with his hand between my legs. “Before you fall asleep?—”
