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“Adam will choose me once he sees that it’s okay to be himself,” I said again.
“I know you love him.”
“I do!” I spat out the words like nails. They tore into me instead of Robert.
“Well, then it’s good he’s coming home, isn’t it?” he said with a genuine tenderness that made a lump come to my throat. He brushed my hair off my forehead and kissed me there again.
I wiped the kiss away petulantly. “Can we just work on the edits now?”
With a sigh, Robert turned back to the editing VCRs, running the tape back thirty seconds and pressing play again. As Lady Dee’s mournful sobs filled the walk-in closet, I rubbed my eyes, annoyed to find my lashes were wet.
***
The clock inthe kitchen read eight-thirty-four on Friday morning, and I was half-asleep, pouring cereal, when the phone rang. I dragged myself across the kitchen to get it, still clutching the open cereal box.
“I’m here!”
“You’re here?” My heart jolted. I wasn’t ready yet. “Where?”
“At the gas station by the McDonald’s.” Adam laughed. “I thought I’d give you a chance to shower before I turned up. I knew your lazy butt would still be asleep. Meanwhile, I’ve been up since five and driving since five-forty, all so I could see your face.”
I glanced at the clock. “You made good time.”
“Atlanta to Knoxville—three hours. Speeding shaved off about ten minutes. I’m coming over right this second. So get in the shower. I want you all clean so I can get you all dirty.”
Adam hung up before I could reply.
I raced upstairs to my pinboard and yanked down the photos I’d collected over the summer: the shots of Windy and Minty dancing, pictures of Renée in full drag, a picture of Daniel holding a beer and talking with Barry at the bar.
I ripped down the photos Daniel had taken of me too, not even looking at the newly masculine face staring out of them, or the soft smile that’d played on my lips that day in the park. I tore down pictures from my birthday/Fourth of July party at Renée’s house until all that was left was a single photo of Adam from last spring.
I shoved the pictures in my filing cabinet where I kept the rest. Adam would have wanted to know who everyone was, and that’d lead to telling him about Daniel. He didn’t need to know about that. For all I knew, Adam had his own secrets from the summer, and what’d happened with Daniel didn’t change anything.
Ripping off my clothes in the bathroom, I noticed for the first time how much my chest, pubes, and leg hair had grown in over the summer. Even my stubble was denser. As I quickly prepared myself, washed, and shaved, I wondered if Adam would still like the way I looked. He’d always liked that I looked young.
My heart thumped and nausea churned. I splashed cold water on my face again. I was a mess. I had to get it together before he got here, or he’d know something was wrong.
By the time I stood in the driveway in my now almost too-small Oscar the Grouch shirt and my favorite pair of jeans, I had my game-face on. I’d raced through brushing my teeth and said fuck it to finding socks. But otherwise, I was as ready as I was going to get.
Then he was there, pulling into the driveway.
My heart pounded.
Crazily, I wished Daniel was with me to hold my hand and tell me not to be so nervous. I knew if he were the one pulling into the drive, I wouldn’t feel like I was going to come out of my skin. I ruthlessly shoved that thought away.
“Eater!” Adam jumped out of the car. He was so handsome in a green T-shirt, flip-flops, and jeans that were worn in all the right places. He grinned and spread his arms wide. “Happy late birthday. I hope you like your present. Fresh from Rome with a stopover in Atlanta. I’m all yours.”
I laughed tightly. Adam looked the same as ever—maybe a few pounds heavier from Italian pasta—he was still golden and beautiful, and his smile gleamed. His dark brown hair shone with red highlights, and his tan skin glowed vibrantly, like he was made of sunshine. His hazel eyes sparkled warmly.
I choked out, “It’s the perfect present. Exactly what I was hoping for.”
The days we’d spent apart, the experiences I’d had, the people I’d met, and my feelings for Daniel crowded into the space between us, making it feel that much wider and inflexible, like a plastic bubble that wouldn’t pop.
“Sorry it had to be a month late.” He drew close and touched my face, running his thumb along my jaw. “Well, look who had to invest in a razor while I was gone.”
“Yeah.”
He gave me a long appraising once-over, tweaked the front of my T-shirt, and caressed my chest. “I like it. You look…”
