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Mike smiled sadly again. “Because I love her. Twisted as it is. Maybe one day, I’ll be in your shoes. But right now, I just love her with open eyes. That’s all I’ve got.”
I nodded, gazing into the distance. “How’d you find me?”
“I knew you wouldn’t go far. Not without your car.” He sighed. “We should get back. They’re waiting for us to head out to the club.”
“I’m not—” I shook my head. “I can’t go. I just want to get my keys and get out of here.”
He shrugged. “Have it your way. But do you want to get even with Adam or not?”
“Get even?”
“Payback.”
“Why? He’s your friend.”
“He’s a dick. I don’t hate him, and he’s Sarah’s twin brother, which means he’s gonna be in my life. Payback’s not always worth it, but we both know he’s earned it.” Mike squeezed my shoulder again. “You just cried your heart out, dude. Shouldn’t he get a taste of that?”
“I don’t want to stay with him tonight.”
“Stay in my room. You can rest up so you can drive home safely tomorrow. Offer stands whether you come to the club or not.” His lips turned up at the ends in a surprisingly mean way. “But my vote is you come with us. Let him twist. Why not?”
“What if Leslie figures it out?”
“She deserves to know.”
“I don’t want to hurt her.”
Mike smiled reassuringly “If I know Adam, he’ll make sure she doesn’t guess. But be a man. Don’t walk away from this without showing him you don’t need him.”
He stood up, dusted off his pants, and reached down to me.
I took his hand and let him haul me up. I was wrung out, but going out tonight to dance with hot guys while Adam suffered in silence was darkly tempting.
We started back toward the dorm with cicadas ringing and pink clouds gliding over the sunset.
“Mike?”
“Yeah?”
I wanted his reassurance. I wanted solid, dependable Mike to tell me everything would be okay, and he still liked me, but when I looked into his challenging eyes, I couldn’t ask for that.
“It’s a good plan.”
Mike punched my arm gently. “C’mon.”
Chapter Nineteen
‡
The cavernous Fusionwas far more impressive than Tilt-a-Whirl and even nicer than the Slide. The stage for the drag show was three times the size of the one Renée danced on in Knoxville. Like at the Slide, there were rooms with different themes, but they took up entire floors, like a hotel of gay wonderment. If I wasn’t so tired, hurt, and angry, I’d have loved it.
Mike had brought me back to Adam’s dorm room, where Leslie had orchestrated a truce between me and Adam, declaring us both “dumb boys” and insisting that all we needed was to go out, dance, and “let go of the need to be right.”
Sarah, already dressed for the club, had rolled her eyes and said to Leslie, “If you weren’t the child of psychologists, you might have had a chance to turn out normal. But alas!”
Maybe if Leslie hadn’t been the child of psychologists, she wouldn’t be looking for the best in everyone, and she’d have seen through me and Adam from the beginning.
Sitting at the table Mike had scored for our group, I gazed around the crowded club, taking in the scene. Surprisingly, there were a number of straight couples. I saw some guys clinging to their girlfriends in a way that screamed, “I’m here, you’re queer, stay away from me.” There were even more girls dancing together who were clearly not gay but had fun pretending they were.
