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“He stays up late to call me.”
My throat went tight with hurt and anger.Of course he did.
“You could talk to him too.” She grinned at me. “I know he misses you. And I could take you home after.”
Shame unfurled in me like a wave. Hearing Adam’s voice would be so nice, but it would be wrong to use her that way. Leslie was too good for either of us. I was a horrible person, and I choked on more lies.
“I’m sorry. I need to stay home. My folks have chores for me.”
She put on a pout that usually worked on Adam.
“Seriously, Leslie, I have to work tomorrow, and then I’ve got chores. After that I need to hit the hay.”
“Whatisyour job anyway?” she asked as she pulled into my driveway. “It’s always mumbo-jumbo when you talk about it.”
I shrugged. “It’s just work. You know, boring stuff.”
She tilted her head and examined me closely. “You can tell meanythingPeter, you know that, right?”
“Absolutely.” My self-loathing was crammed into a ball inside my heart, churning, burning, hurting, and ready to explode.
“You can tell me how you’re feeling. You can tell me anything at all. I won’t judge you.”
I bit my lip and stared at her.
Sure, I could tell her I was gay, but that wouldn’t be the whole truth. Sure, I could tell her about me and Adam, but he’d never forgive me. He loved her. I didn’t want him to choose me because I’d ruined it for him with her. I wanted him to choose me because I was the one he wanted most. If he stayed with her, and let me go this fall, then I’d know: she was his true love, and I was his piece on the side.
Just like my mother had said.
“Leslie, I need to head in. I’m tired and I’ve got work in the morning.”
“Fine. Whatever you say.” Her voice resonated with hurt. “Listen, I’m sorry. I’m glad we went out, okay? And I’ll tell Adam you said hi. Thanks for kicking in for the refreshments.”
“Thanks for getting the tickets.”
She frowned at me as I climbed out of the car. “Hey, I’m here for you, Peter. Anytime.”
I waved and closed the car door. The evening breeze played in my hair, and I watched her back down the driveway.
It was still hours from prime time at Tilt-a-Whirl, but the doors opened in thirty minutes for early-comers who wanted to chat over drinks. Barry would be there setting up his bar, and Robert would be there getting ready for the show. Maybe Minty or Windy too. I didn’t let myself think about Daniel.
As soon as Leslie was over the hill, I keyed open the Volvo.
Heartsore, I drove toward a place where I didn’t have to lie.
***
Scoring a goodparking spot on 15thStreet near Cumberland Avenue, I walked uphill toward the club. My heart did a crazy kind of double-jump, and an irrepressible smile broke over my face when I spotted Daniel and Minty approaching from the opposite direction.
Daniel was fresh as sunshine in a yellow T-shirt and soft-looking jeans. The faded-gold light of evening played in his hair. His brown eyes burned amber. I didn’t think I imagined the way he came to attention when he spotted me, quickly running his hands over his hair like he wanted to look good for me.
My stomach flipped. I forced my eyes away from his, despite the urge to grin at him like a hopeful loon.
Minty wore a relatively sedate purple leotard and a green denim miniskirt. He’d added a green streak to his bleached skater bangs and wore a swath of glittery green eye shadow above each eye. When I lifted my hand to wave, he ran toward me as fast as his tight skirt allowed.
“Hey, girl!” Minty’s tenor lifted excitedly as he grabbed hold of my hands and spun us around. “Guess what?”
“What?” My gaze strayed to Daniel again, and a buzz jittered through me when our eyes met. “Hi,” I said to him.
