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He nodded, and then pulled me into a hug. We sat there on the floor, our pancakes going cold, and Milky Way snuffling around the kitchen table, hopping up and down on her back legs, ignoring us.
This wasn’t how I’d imagined our winter break or first Christmas either, but I understood.
Eventually, I asked, “When do you need to leave?”
“There’s a flight this afternoon, my grandfather said.” Daniel sighed and hefted himself up, before reaching down to pull me up as well. “Let’s eat, and then I have something to show you—well, togiveyou—before I need to pack.”
“To give me?”
Daniel smiled, and it was sweet and loving, but still tinged with the grimness of the news. “Yeah, for Christmas.”
“But I don’t have your present! It’s at my house. Let’s wait until you get back.”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “This is a useful gift, and I want you to feel free to use it right away. Okay?”
After cold pancakes made their way down our throats, Daniel bundled me up in his big, thick coat hung up by the kitchen door, and then pulled a sweater on, over his long-sleeve T-shirt. “C’mon,” he said, tugging me out into the backyard. Milky Way scampered after us into the gray Tennessee winter.
I followed him to the detached garage that had, when he’d started the process of moving in, contained the remnants of broken pots and planters. Now I noticed there was a small side door built in that hadn’t been there before.
Daniel led me to it. “Ready?”
I laughed, trying to figure out what could be inside. “A lawnmower? To make this summer easier on both of us? A puppy?” I guessed.
“See for yourself.”
He opened the door and let me go in first, flicking the light on as he stepped inside, too.
“Oh.” I couldn’t think of what else to say. I was breathless with surprise and affection, and a horrible feeling of embarrassment. Because my framed photo of the two of us and the mixtape I’d made for him were woefully inadequate. Because within the garage was an even smaller room, and it was perfect. “A darkroom? This is…it’s just…Daniel! You didn’t have to do this!”
“I know. And I know you have access to the darkroom on campus, but it’s always at awkward hours, and some of the subject matter is more risqué than should be developed in a public place. So, when I had the people in to outfit the bathrooms with new fixtures, I asked them to price out a darkroom, too. It wasn’t too much. And I did a ton of research on what I should buy, but you’re welcome to replace anything that isn’t what you need.” He walked over to a small heater and turned it on. “This is an oil convection heater. It doesn’t generate dust. We’ll have to solve the problem of cooling it down in the summertime later. I’m still looking for air-conditioning units that are dust-free. I’m not sure they exist.”
“When did you have time for this?” I asked, finding the room was stocked with all the supplies I needed. He’d been thorough.
“I was lonely and bored out in Kingston before the old place sold. Once I decided on this, I bought a bunch of photography magazines and took some books out from the library. The local one, so you’d never know.” He smiled. “Do you like it?”
“Do I like it?” I asked around a lump in my throat. “I love it. This is—” I threw my arms around his neck. “This is perfect. I love it so much. I love you so much. I’m so happy, and I’m so grateful. And I also need to buy you a better present now.”
“Don’t you dare,” Daniel said, rubbing his nose against my cheek and taking a deep breath of my scent. “I did this because I could afford to, and I don’t want you buying me anything other than what you already got. I know I’ll love it.”
“I hope so,” I murmured.
“Now,” he said, pulling away. “Why don’t you explore out here, and I’ll go pack.”
I started to argue that I wanted to help him, but he kissed me, and turned me around to face the equipment and shelves of chemicals. “Make sure you have everything you need. I want you to be able to use this while I’m away.”
I didn’t argue and got to work examining everything, marveling at Daniel’s generosity and love for me. He was definitely going to get more than a framed photo and the mixtape. Maybe I’d gift him another sexy photo session and make a private album just for him.
I wished I could give him the gift of a healthy mother and a trouble-free family. I wanted to give him that more than anything else in the world.
Chapter Thirty-Two
‡
After a longbut far too short goodbye in Daniel’s driveway, Milky Way and I started off toward my house. The sun had set already, and that distinctive winter darkness was closing in. At least it was punctuated by the bright lights of homes and stores decorated for Christmas. I remembered some photos I’d taken when I was younger of lights reflected in the lake. I knew now those had been some pretty shabby photos, but I’d been impressed with them at the time.
I shrugged and petted Milky Way, who panted in the passenger seat. She wasn’t sure what was happening, and I didn’t blame her for being anxious. She must be wondering if she was going to the vet, or to Kerri’s, or to somewhere new. Her life had been turned upside down when Bobby had died, but at least she was well-loved and had many people who cared about her. Well, three people. Me, Daniel, and Kerri. Though shortly it would be five, because my parents loved dogs, and they were going to adore Milky Way.
When I reached my street, I turned off the Christmas tunes I’d been listening to and pulled into my driveway. I couldn’t wait to tell my parents about the darkroom, though I was less enthused by having to report that Daniel’s mom had gotten into an accident after falling off the wagon again. I knew, despite her own issues with pills, my mother worried Daniel had inherited the “alcoholic gene,” as she put it, and could end up like his mom.
