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“Because of Adam?”
“Because I was jealous,” he admitted. “And the part of me that my mom’s damaged started whispering to me that maybe I shouldn’t trust you.”
I nodded and took his hands in mine. “Nothing happened with him.”
“You’re sure?”
I put his hands to my chest, letting him feel my steady heartbeat. “There was never a moment that I was even tempted.”
Daniel cleared his throat. “He’s handsome. Hot, even.”
“Sure. I have good taste in men. Go look in the mirror.”
He gazed into my eyes, searching for whatever it was he needed to see. “I’m sorry I’m like this.”
“I get it.”
“With all my heart and soul, I need to believe and trust in you. It came to me last night when I was sitting by the pool with Grandma. If I lose this, if I stop trusting everyone, then she’s stolen the most precious thing from me. My ability to be vulnerable and be loved. Because you can’t do one without the other.”
“I love you.”
“I got on the earlier plane anyway. Even though I tried to talk myself out of it.”
“I’m not mad.”
He sighed. “I kept picturing…all kinds of things.”
I shook my head. “I hugged him a couple of times because he was crying. That was it. He asked me to kiss him, and I said no.”
“Thank you.”
“I didn’t say no for you,” I said. “I didn’t want to kiss him because I love you. There’s a difference.”
I curled up to his side, and we held each other, watching Milky Way snuffle around on the floor looking for crumbs.
Eventually Daniel asked, “What’s going to happen to him?”
“Adam?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know. But it’s not my responsibility.” I sighed. “He was talking about going to Japan to teach English. Or entering the Peace Corps. I don’t know what he’ll end up doing. But I feel like he’ll be okay. He’s Adam. He always charms his way to the top.”
Or was that Sarah? I didn’t know anymore. But I couldn’t invest my heart and mind in worrying about him. I hadn’t asked him to come out to his dad. I hadn’t asked him to turn his life upside down. He did that all on his own, and I’d helped him as much as I could without getting myself ensnared in his web again.
“So, what’s for lunch?” I asked, sitting up straighter. “Want to order a pizza?”
Daniel took hold of my hand. “I need to go to the grocery store. We can’t survive on pizza delivery alone.”
“Tomorrow. Today, let’s stay in.” I waggled my eyebrows. “There are some photos I wanted to show you. And some Christmas presents I need to give you.”
“All right. Pizza it is.”
Before we could place the order, we ended up in his bedroom with the door shut and the lights off. Our clothes hit the floor, and we rolled onto the mattress. Daniel’s kiss was sweet and soft, and my heart felt squishy in my chest, as he rose over me.
“Condom?” he asked.
“We have plenty in the drawer.” I wriggled toward the nightstand.
