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“Already things are better than they were. She’s going back to rehab in ten days. It could have been sooner, and I’d hoped it would be, but she wanted to return to the facility where she had the best experience in the past. They didn’t have an immediate opening, so we had to wait. Cooperation is better than resistance, so I agreed,” he said. “At least she’s back in AA and not passing out drunk on the sofa.”
“She’s going to AA. That’s good,” I murmured.
“Itshouldbe,” he agreed. “That’s where she is right now. Nadine, Minty’s mom, took her so the kids and I didn’t have to wait in the car out in the church parking lot. Mom can’t be trusted to drive herself there and back without stopping for alcohol.”
I swallowed. I’d been thinking of bringing up my mom’s dependence on Valium and how she’d used it to numb her emotions throughout my life, but this with Daniel’s mom seemed to be at a whole other level. She suffered from a full-on addiction and not just significant substance abuse.
“At least the kids’ teachers have stopped talking about getting CPS involved now that I’m back home. So that’s something.”
“Wow. I’m…” I trailed off so I wouldn’t say “sorry” again.
Daniel shrugged. “Yeah, it sucks. I’m not going to deny it.”
“Is there anyone else who can help? Your grandparents or an aunt or uncle?”
He met my gaze and the pain in his eyes made my stomach twist. “My mom’s folks are gone already, but my dad’s folks live in Florida.” His lips twisted. “Mom didn’t want me to ask them for help. The last time she relapsed, they threatened to file for custody and take the kids down to live with them in Florida. She doesn’t want that.” Daniel’s eyes dropped. “So…here I am.”
I noticed he didn’t sayhewas against that outcome for his siblings, or that he’d never allow it to happen. He’d only said his mom didn’t want it.
“It’s okay to ask for help. You don’t have to be a hero,” I reassured him.
Daniel’s jaw tightened. “I’m not a hero. I’m a selfish dick. You know what I keep thinking about?” His breath came in faster, and his eyes brightened with anger. “How pissed off I am about giving up my apartment. Ilikedliving in my own place. Ilikedthat there weren’t any little kids running around asking me where I put their clean underwear. And Ilovednot having to parent my own mother.” He rubbed a hand over his eyes. “Which is how I feel when I’m here. But shit, Peter. What else was I supposed to do?”
“I get it.”
“It’s not about being a hero. It’s about necessity.”
I reached out and touched his hand again. “Your friends can help you.Ican help you. Just ask us for, I don’t know, anything. Everyone would be happy to chip in.” I was overstepping by speaking for everyone. But if Minty, Windy, Antonio, Barry and Robert knew the whole truth, I knew they’d do whatever they could for him.
Daniel’s gaze darted to the window again. “Everyone has their own shit to deal with. They don’t need mine, too.”
“But what if they want yours?”
Daniel let out a soft, disbelieving laugh.
“I’m serious.”
He rolled his shoulders. “That’s nice of you, Peter, but I don’t need help. Not like that.” Then he huffed a bitter laugh. “Well, not anymore.”
“Why?” Was it because I’d let him down so much after Nashville that he didn’t trust me? And why should he?
But that wasn’t it at all.
“Because I didn’t do what my mom asked. She’s going to rehab. And the week after she goes? My grandparents are coming up for Ken and Paul.” He glanced toward the door leading to the downstairs. “I haven’t told them yet, andshesure as hell won’t be the one to tell them. I won’t let her. She’ll twist it.”
“Oh.” I blinked. “Wow.”
“Yeah. I’m not looking forward to breaking the news.”
My heart ached for him. I couldn’t imagine what he must be feeling. “How long will they have to live with them?”
“I don’t know. A few months minimum? Maybe forever.” Another bitter snort escaped. “Is it terrible that I hope, for their sakes, it’s forever?”
“No.”
“I feel like I’m letting them down.”
“You’re not.”
