AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He kissed me again, and we lost ourselves in the push and pull, the ebb and flow of our bodies, of the pleasure. Cresting and then pulling back again before the climax could sweep us away felt as easy as breathing. When Luke broke our kiss and lifted off me, I cried out, wanting him back on my suddenly cold cock.
“Baby,” he whispered, reaching for the lube again. Was he going to reapply? He seemed plenty slick to me. But instead, he shifted us both until he knelt between my legs, pushing them apart. Gazing at me, he asked, “Can we still love each other like this if I’m inside you?”
I whispered. “I don’t know. I wanted to come in you.”
“I’ll let you come in me,” he agreed. “But let me feel you from the inside again? Like this? With love?”
I groaned, my cock twitching and my hole gripping lightly. I wanted it. He hadn’t fucked me in way too many days, and I needed him inside. But what if I ruined it? What if it triggered that asshole in me who demanded things had to get ugly?
“Let me try,” he whispered. “If you don’t like it, I’ll stop.”
“Okay. Try it.”
The slick of lube was cold, and I hissed. He kissed my nipples as he fingered me slowly. Flashes from earlier in the night and the torture of this kind of fingering rose up, along with the urge tofight, to resist.
“Breathe, baby,” Luke whispered. “Don’t close your eyes. Look at me.”
I pried my lids open, letting my legs splay out, freeing up space for him to move inside me. He was so gorgeous—red lips, flushed skin, and hot devotion in his eyes.
Surrender. Let go. Let him love you.
I imagined my heart was trapped inside a giant locket and with every press of his fingers he turned the lock, again and again until it burst open.There.My heart was beating, beating,beatingwith love and need and fear. So much fear.
I sucked in air shallowly. I was too exposed. Too vulnerable. It felt like Luke could kill me with a single glance, cut me open with a word. I resisted the urge to protect my heart again. Fighting it was enough to make me sweat—or maybe that was the way he perfectly targeted my prostate and made me beg for cock.
“Please, Luke. Fuck me. I need you. I love you. Love me back.”
Lurching up, he kissed me, and withdrew his fingers. With practiced ease, he hooked my knees over his elbows and bent me back, pressing his cock against my loosened asshole and pushing inside with one, long, firm stroke.
“Look at me,” he said as my eyes drifted shut in satisfaction. “Eyes on me.”
I obeyed, but that fear sliced through me again. All that love. Aimed at me. His expression of adoration, his sweet smile, his infinite tenderness. I wanted it, but I didn’t deserve it.
Shut up. You do. You deserve it.
“I’m getting scared,” I murmured.
He turned his head to kiss one of my knees, and whispered, “Me too. Can you take it? Do I need to stop?”
I shook my head. His admission softened the panic that had started to rise. We were doing this together. Afraid together.Risking it together.
The fuck stayed gentle, rolling, and slow. I fought against the need to have it harder, faster, crueler, and tried to stay focused on the here and now.
I concentrated on the scent of Luke’s sweat, on the heat building between our bodies, on his treasure trail brushing against my hard cock with every thrust. The sound of our flesh slapping together, the hunger in his eyes. The heat of his kiss. The tagging of my prostate and the slowly mounting pleasure that never seemed to break.
Yet, I wrestled myself. Fear and love grabbed each other by the throat, and the violence I craved exploded in my mind instead. Moment by moment, I wasn’t sure who was winning. I fought the urge to scream, to spit in Luke’s face, to bite him.
I tried to hold on to the affection that glowed in my heart. I fought to keep my heart open, to let him see me—really see me—as a person and not a sub, as a lover and not a project. I tried to be equal to him, to not let the rage that frothed in me boil up and over.
I tried so hard. Fought and wrestled. Fought and fought.
And lost.
“I hate you,” I bit out. “I hate you for this.”
My throat squeezed and a scream built inside me. I didn’t hate him. I hated myself for ruining everything again. Luke’s rhythm stuttered, but then he gripped my jaw and stared into my eyes, his thrusts fluid. “I love you,” he murmured.
I loved him too, but I needed to be punished. No amount of trying to get ahold of myself was working. “I don’t want you to love me. Not like this. I can’t take it.”
