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Ben relaxes and resumes, opening me up for him. It feels better than I expected it to, and I realise I’ve never done this with a man I was in a proper relationship with. I’ve not done this for a long time. It’s not that I hate it, it’s just not what I prefer, but he’s wrong if he thinks I’m not willing to give him what he wants, what he needs. I tense as the blunt head of Ben’s cock pushes against my hole. He pulls back and I reach back for him awkwardly, attempting to pull him back in towards me. He seems to understand and I wince as he pushes inside me.
“Relax,’ he whispers, placing a warm hand on my lower back and angling me so that he can push further in. Somehow I do what I’m told, forcing myself to open for him. Ben groans in pleasure and ever so slowly thrusts in and out, forcing me in and out of Jocelyn in turn as he does so. She’s experienced this before with us the other way around, but she’s still staring up at me, eyes wide and maybe a little unsure.
“I like this,” she confesses. “We’ve never done this… I didn’t think… It’s so good with you...”
Ben grunts and thrusts forward hard, forcing me into Jocelyn. Her eyes roll in pleasure and I suspect mine did, too. And perhaps continue to do so as Ben picks up his pace and my body responds and I find that I really don’t hate this at all.
There’s a fine line in who holds the ultimate power in an encounter between the Dom and the Sub, and I expect we’re currently blurring it. I’m the one allowing this. Initially, it wasn’t because I wanted it, but because I wanted it for him. But Ben’s happiness is what I want, so this is no real sacrifice on my part. Not now. I circle my hips and he groans, then runs a hand down my spine as his rhythm picks up and my body allows him easier access.
Jocelyn kisses me again, and I close my eyes, allowing myself to get lost in these feelings, both familiar and unfamiliar. It’s been so long since I let another man do this. And… and I’m definitely not hating it as Ben holds onto my hips with both hands and fucks me with a steady rhythm. It’s good. Great, actually, but I know there’s still something not quite right.
“Stop holding back,” I say.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Ben says.
“I have a safe word. I know how to use it. Don’t cheat yourself tonight, Ben.”
For a moment I wish I hadn’t said those words as his pace picks up, but then I look down at Jocelyn and see her head tilt back, baring her throat to me. I bite down where her neck meets her shoulder and she tenses immediately as she comes, her inner muscles gripping so tightly around my cock that I’m pushed over that edge too. And for a few moments we’re both limp as relaxed as Ben pounds into me, forcing our bodies together with no effort from either of us until he cries out and collapses over my back.
We lie there in a tangled heap of limbs and sweat and cum until Joss pushes on my shoulders and I roll back, rolling Ben in turn. When he pulls his cock out of me, there’s some discomfort, but it doesn’t matter if it’s made him happy. I turn to face him and put my arm over him, pulling him towards me as Jocelyn presses against my back and puts her arm alongside mine.
I kiss Ben, feeling our spent cocks rubbing against one another. As soon as he tries to take control of the kiss, I let him. It’s nice. I like this, being between the two of them. And the loss of control is… My mouth widens into a grin and Ben pulls back, frowning at me.
“What?”
“This is… good.” I say, and, after an initial moment looking shocked, he captures my lips with his once more.
Jocelyn
For once, it’s me who gets up and goes to run a bath. That’s usually Ben’s job. Occasionally Matt’s. I’m not going to pretend I understand everything that was happening between the two of them tonight, but it feels like something has changed. And for the better.
I’ve left the two of them cuddling on the bed, although I bet neither of them would be happy with that description. They’d both be happy to say they were cuddling, or even snuggling with me, but with each other? That’s a big nope. And it shouldn't be.
The relationship I have with each of them is broadly similar. It’s still a woman with a man. But their relationship with one another? That’s different. Special. And some of those undercurrents… Does Ben really think that Matt and I would abandon him for some king of heteronormative relationship where we get married and have kids and… and I become some kind of upper middle class hideous trophy wife who drinks all day while he has affairs and…
I squeeze the bubble bath bottle, letting far more pour in than I meant to.
“What did the bottle do to you?” Ben asks, slipping though the open door and putting his arms around me.
“Nothing,” I say. “It’s you I’m pissed off at. Thinking that we were just going to abandon you. How could you?” My voice chokes at the end, and he turns me around in his arms and holds me so very close.
“I don’t, Joss. I really don’t. It’s just… I’m sorry.”
“No, you don’t need to be sorry, Ben. I’m not sure I understand the whole dynamic between you two, but what we did tonight… It was nice.”
“I… I needed it. And I feel bad, because I know he doesn’t really enjoy that. And I feel like a bit of a dick for forcing him to—””
“Hey,” I say, placing my palm on his cheek. “I was the one looking at his face tonight. And it didn’t look like he hated it.” I tighten my arms around him and press my cheek to his chest. There’s a drama exercise – several in fact – where you touch the people you’re working with to synchronise heartbeats. Usually by placing your hands alternately on top of one another or something like that. Then when you try to do some kind of physical action you have more strength. It works, no matter how out there it sounds. One time, I got flung up in the air by mistake after two fellow students barely lifted me off the ground the first time.
I take a deep breath and breathe him in, smelling the green apple shower gel I know Ben prefers.
“Is Matt sleeping?” I ask.
“I don’t think so,” Ben says. “And I should go back to him, no matter how nice this is. I need to make sure he’s okay. That he doesn’t hate me.”
“He doesn’t hate you,” I say, rubbing my hands over the muscles in his back, but he pushes me away, holding my hands still between us.
“Jocelyn, it’s important that I go back and take care of him. I don’t know if you understand what happened…” He’s frowning as if he doesn’t really understand either.
