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“I’m sorry I didn’t?—”
“Look.” I sigh, “We were done, Nikolai.” He cringes again when I don’t call him by his nickname. “You don’t owe me anything, so save your explanations. I didn’t expect you to call me or come to the services. Don’t worry.”
“I should’ve been there.”
You should’ve been there for a lot more, Nikki.
The professor walks in through the door, settling at the front of the room, and she begins to talk. “I need to pay attention.”
“Let me make it up to you, please.”
“What?”
“Not calling after your brother’s death.”
My eyes well up with tears. It’s not that it hurts that much that he didn’t call at first. I didn’t think about it until I had no one to talk to about it. Until I wanted to tellhimall about my feelings and pain. “And how will you do that?”
“Let me get you a present for your birthday.”
“I don’t want your gifts, Nikolai.”
“Fine.” He whispers. “Let me see you again. Just one more time.”
“Leo will actually murder me.” I snap. “Literally. And why now? Hmm?” Tears well up in my eyes and I look away. “You’ve had all this time. Why now?”
“Because, Milla,” he replies, “Because I miss you? I don’t know why. I just need to—I don’t know. Get closure?”
“I don’t.” I gaze at the teacher, who is looking around the class like she’s trying to figure out who’s talking. I do my best to keep a straight face and wipe my tears discreetly, like I’m scratching my face. On both sides. Ugh. “However, if you genuinely need it that bad, then come to my party in a few days... On Saturday. I’m sure you know the house,yeah?”
I say the yeah just like he used to, and he smiles.
“I know where it is.”
“Alright.” I nod once, “Now let me pay attention.”
He doesn’t say another word through the lecture, and I kind of wish he hadn’t listened to me. I highly doubt he will show up at the party. That’s just him pitying me, telling me something to make me feel better. He always did make me feel better about everything.
When everyone starts getting up, I hastily gather my belongings and stuff them back in my bag, wanting to get out of here. But when I get up to get going, Nikolai grabs my wrist in an iron grip. “Saturday?” He asks, his voice hoarse. “You’ll talk to me?”
“Sure.”
With that, he lets me go, and I all but run to my car. Once inside, the dam breaks and my tears flow. I can’t believe him right now, wanting to barge into my life like nothing ever happened. Like he wasn’trippedfrom me, taken, blackmailed. We shouldn’t even be conversing right now, much less at my party. Leonardo, my fiancé since we were kids, is going to flip the fuck out.
Leonardo is the kind of guy who used to be nice, sweet even. We got engaged in elementary school, and he was my friend for a long time. One of my best ones, in fact. But that was a long time ago, and now he’s the devil incarnate. I’ve hated him for four years, and I will continue to hate him until the day I die. Except ever since I lost my virginity to him, we’ve had an understanding. If I ever have an urge to have sex… I come to him. It’s mainly because the last time he caught me with a boy, he ruined my life, so now I either go to him or I have to be highly discreet. Everyone at Atlantic U knows we’re engaged, and he would finish killing me if he ever found out I fucked someone else. And I have needs too sometimes, damn it.
So even through my hate, I relent and fuck him. At least sometimes, which only makes me hate myself more. Annie, my best friend, hates him more than I do. If that’s even possible. And she doesn’t even know what he did to me. They’ve just always had a thing where they can’t stand the sight of each other. Ever since we were children, they constantly fought.
I drive over to the studio with my windows down, letting the breeze hit my face and the smell of salt water permeate my senses. I’ve always loved being by the beach, and with it being my Junior year, I only have this year and the next to enjoy it before I have to get married. Needless to say, I’m making the best of it.
When I pull over to the dance studio, I flip down the visor and look in the mirror, patting my tears off and cleaning my nose. I didn’t even wear makeup today, not that I do every day, but I do have bags under my eyes, and I look pale. It’s no wonder Nikolai said something. It’s hard not to notice.
I change clothes in the car, struggling to put on my black tights and leotard, but I manage. I’m not in the mood to go inside and talk to Annie about our day, which is what we usually do before dance practice. We’ve both been at the Academy together since we got to Seaside, and having this time with her has been fun. Just like when we were kids. We’ve been dancing together since we were three years old, and our mothers were also best friends. Although I’d say my mom was more of a parent to Annie than Isabella.
Isabella is a woman focused on the needs of her husband—a dutiful Cosa Nostra wife. She doesn’t question what he does or says, and it’s an easy way to gain his affection. Men love that shit, a wife who doesn’t ask questions and does as she’s told. I’ll be damned if I’m one of those, even if Leo will be Don at some point, and I should probably get my shit together.
There are five important families in the Cosa Nostra—at least the ones who rule Chicago. The DeLuca family—which is my family. Leonardo’s family, the Colombo’s. The Gambino family, which is Annie’s. The Marino’s and the Ricci’s. The DeLuca family is the most powerful of these five Chicago families—with the most influence and businesses. That’s why my father holds a seat with The Elite, or as they sometimes call it, The Table. The families of Giulia and Viviana—my friends and roommates—the Rossi and Bianchi, hold the other two seats for the Italians.
I’m convinced Leo is only engaged to me due to my father’s influence and power, and I have yet to figure out what the Colombos bring to the table in exchange. But it has to be something important, because my father doesn’t just give over his assets with nothing in exchange. And I am an asset—at least my pussy is.
