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My world begins to spin as all the alcohol and coke hit me together at once. “Crap,” I whisper.
“I’m taking you home,” Nikolai says, and when I start to argue, he holds up a hand. “It’s not up for discussion.”
I turn towards the guy on the floor, nursing his face, “I’m sorry.” I say softly, feeling guilty. I didn’t think this would happen though. How could I even see it coming?
“You should be.” Nikolai chuckles and my blood runs cold. “That hand he fingered you with? He’s going to lose it tonight.”
“No!” I yell. “What is wrong with you?”
“Youare what’s wrong with me. You don’t know how to act right.”
“What the hell isacting right?”
“You think you can do whatever you want.” I’m swiftly shoved out of the bathroom, and he grabs my cheeks, crushing them together. “But you’re wrong, Camilla. Because you’ll do as I say if you know what’s good for you.”
He kisses me roughly right in front of everyone and I tense. Then he releases me just as fast and drags me through the fine establishment all the way to the front so I can get my keys. He hauls me to his car, tucks me under a blanket, and drives me home.
I know this man is going to be my ruin.
My undoing.
He always has been.
16 Years Old
It’s a dark night with the new moon, and since it’s the middle of winter it’s cold too. Thankfully, there’s no snow on the ground tonight, although the ground feels frozen beneath us, making me even colder than I should feel. That still hasn’t stopped us from meeting up. Quite frankly, I’d say I wouldn’t let anything short of a snowstorm—or my period—stop me from seeing him.
It’s been a bit tense the past few days since our encounter by the lockers. Neither of us has mentioned how we acted with each other, but I still remember his lips against the palm of my hand, my cheek, and my body heats up like an oven. The more I try, the less I can get him out of my head. I just need to know if I’m imagining all of this, if it’s all me. Or if he feels it too. I think he does. He has been really sweet to me, and I think our feelings are mutual.
Nikolai was so jealous of Leo when we were sitting together, something I had never seen from him. Leo and I weren’t even talking to each other until right before I left, yet Nik looked at him like he could murder him. Heat rushes between my legs just thinking about it, and I clamp them shut.
“You okay there?” Nik asks me. “You look a bit uncomfortable.”
“I’m fine,” I squeak, lying through my teeth. “Um.” Suddenly I’m nervous. “Are we okay?”
“What do you mean?” Genuine confusion crosses his features, and I realize maybe I am imagining everything.
“Well…it’s just that you’ve been acting weird since the lockers…”
Nik groans low in his throat. “We’re fi?—”
“Why were you jealous?” I ask him, “You looked at Leo like you could kill him.”
“I wanted to.” Our eyes meet, and Nik gets closer to me, erasing the distance between us until our sides are glued to each other. I look up at him. “I wanted to fucking end him, Camilla. I wanted to keep you for myself.”
My stomach swoops and my breath quickens. “For yourself?”
“I want you to bemine,” Nikolai whispers. “But I know you never will be.”
I reach out and grab his face between both hands, making him look into my eyes. His dilate, black swallowing silver. “I’m already yours.” Tears prick the back of my eyes. “And Ialwayswill be.”
Nikolai reaches behind me and grabs the back of my neck, pulling me in until our breaths mingle. He doesn’t close the distance between us, though—I do. When our lips barely brush against each other, a spark of electricity bursts within me. I know he feels it too, yet he pushes me away.Hard.
His breathing is ragged and I inhale sharply, surprised, but I don’t have much time to think about it or react before he crawls backward away from me. “God,” he groans as he pulls away. “I can’t do this, Camilla.”
What?
I blush when he looks at me, but it’s because I’m ashamed. What was I thinking? How could I believe he reciprocated my feelings? The sudden urge to run away takes over my body, and I begin to stand. “Don’t you dare,” Nik tells me. “You better not leave me.”
