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Butterflies rage in my stomach. “You—you don’t like me. You lied. You don’t want me…”
Nik crawls over to me again, reaching for my face and pushing my bottom lip down with his thumb. “Like doesn’t do what we have any justice, Milla.”
“Then why don’t you want me?”
“Want you?” He scoffs, “That’s all I ever do, Camilla. Every second of every fucking day, I think about you. What it would be like if you were mine, if you were to marrymeinstead. Havemybabies.”
“Then damn it, Nik!” I pull away from him, slapping at his hand as tears stream down my face. “Take me,stronzo.”Asshole.
“Come here, Camilla,” he breathes. “You know why I can’t…it’ll hurt too much when it’s over. My heart will break into a million pieces, princess.”
“It doesn’t have to end,” I lie weakly.
“I want all of you, Camilla. But you know that’s not true.” Nik smiles at me, but it’s sad. “I’ll take you any way I can get you, though, until I can’t have you anymore.”
When he reaches for my face again, I don’t fight him. Instead, I lean into his touch. This is the feeling I’ve been seeking the whole time I’ve been coming to this playground to meet up with him. But he’s always been just out of reach, just like now. Did we ruin everything between us by admitting our feelings for each other?
“Promise me something,” he demands.
“Anything.”
“If you ever get the chance to break off your engagement… you’ll marrymeinstead.”
I smile. I like that he’s asking me this. Demanding it of me. “I promise,” His hands haven’t left my face, and I close my eyes, savoring his skin against mine. “It will always be you, Nik. We’reeverything, remember?”
“Forever,” Nik assures me.
And even though we both mean it, I know it won’t happen. Ever. The chances of my engagement being broken are zero, which hurts more than anything. Leo is as possessive as Nik, and my father would never allow our marriage to be in jeopardy. There’s something he’s hiding from me, an ulterior motive as to why Leo and I have been engaged our entire lives. However, if I could choose anyone to spend the rest of my life with, I’d choose my best friend.
My everything.
Him.
Iwatch Camilla stir and squirm in her sleep. Her pink, plump lips parting as she cries out. No, there are actual tears trailing down her face. What the fuck is happening? What is she dreaming? Is she dreaming of him? Her brother?
A sudden pang of guilt stabs me in the chest like a sharp knife, twisting and stealing my breath and threatening to end me. The way I cried into the crook of her neck still haunts me. I essentially admitted to killing her brother without words, and my apology took me over the edge. She probably hates me now.
My nightmares are also occupied by him, his face when I accidentally shot him. It was never supposed to be him, always Leonardo. Except the motherfucker shoved Andrea forward in his place and then took him away.
No one believed me.
His father didn’t.
Andrea’s father didn’t.
Even my own father didn’t.
Of course not. The Elite didn’t think I would willingly spare Andrea, especially after Leonardo and I’s rivalry that has been going on for years. I just didn’t think an eighteen-year-old who never involved himself in our world mattered enough, so I never would’ve thought of hurting him. And yet, I still did it by accident, but nevertheless, I did.
I touch her face, caressing her, then kiss her tears away gently. “I’m sorry,solnyshko. I’ll never be able to make up for it, but Iamsorry.”
The chair located in the corner of the room is calling my name, so I sit for a minute before she opens her eyes. My stomach drops and I’m scared thinking she heard me. I’m not ready to tell her what happened. No, that can wait until after I kill her precious Leonardo.
I watch her sit up in bed and look around as she smooths her hands down her arms, almost like they’re covered in goosebumps. It’s like she can feel me and knows I’m here. As if on cue, her eyes lock on mine from across the room and she gasps.
“W-w-what are you doing here?” she asks me, the fear in her voice evident from the tremble of her vocal cords.
Good.
