AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Got a bad grade in precalculus.”
“Wait.” Her eyes widen. “That’s it? He broke your nose over a bad grade?”
“Yeah, Camilla,” I say in the tone I know she loves, emphasizing her nickname. “He said I’m not good enough to be his heir. He called me stupid.”
“You’re not, though,” Camilla argues. “You’re the smartest person I know!”
I look up from my spot on the ground, my cheek on the blanket. The cold still seeps through the waterproof lining, although the blanket doesn’t get wet. “Come lie down with me.”
Camilla smiles and scoots over, lying down until we face each other. She’s so beautiful it hurts. Her hazel eyes are more blue today than I’ve ever seen them, and again, I wonder what it would be like to see them in the daylight. Why do we always have to hide? Will there ever come a day when we don’t?
“Can I pet you? Run my fingers through your hair?”
I smile, remembering when I did the same with her not that long ago. “I could never say no to you.”
Her fingers come to my face, trailing up my jaw, my cheek, then my forehead. I close my eyes as she tickles me, and a groan comes out unbidden. “That feels good,” I tell her as her fingers come to my hair and get lost in it.
“Question two hundred and fifty.”
I laugh.
“What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you?”
My throat locks up and I feel like I can’t breathe anymore. I think about not answering, telling her to ask me something else. Or simply changing the subject, ignoring the question, not acknowledging her at all. Although she deserves better. “Losing my mom.”
Camilla swallows audibly, “I didn’t know.” She whispers. “How?”
“I don’t really want to talk about that, Milla.” I sigh, “It’s too grim for a pretty girl like you to be talking about something so nasty.”
“Okay.” I see the tears in her eyes, the rejection reflected on her face, and my heart squeezes in my chest.
“I’m sorry, princess.” Camilla’s fingers still in my hair, and I reach out to cup her cheek. “It just hurts a lot still.”
She nods. “It’s okay.”
I know it’s not, but I won’t take it back. How do I explain what happened? That my father did this to me? “What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you, then?”
“I don’t know.” She answers immediately, “I guess having to marry Leo.”
“Yeah, I’d say that comes second for me,” I reply honestly. “Never being able to have you for myself.”
I don’t know how I’m going to make it happen, but one day she will be mine. No one will be able to take her away from me, and her family will just have to accept that.
Idon’t know what I was thinking last night, but it all felt very final. I felt peace for the first time in a long time. Seven months, to be exact, and I want to go back to that moment.
I just didn’t expect for Nik to save me.
I thought he’d be at the frat house or wherever the fuck he goes. Definitely not at the private beach that I was hoping would take me far, far away and into the deep ocean. Never to be found again.
Apparently, I was dragged out and revived. Now I’m in a strange place, a home, that I don’t know if it belongs to Nikolai or not, but Ineedto get out of here.
Nikolai is asleep, soft snores coming from him, mouth wide open. It’s kind of cute. If he hadn’t just ruined everything for me, I might be able to bask in this moment. He slept with me, didn’t leave me in the middle of the night either. He even cuddled up to me, giving me his body heat as my teeth chattered and my heart slowed to scary beats. I could hear them in my head, the pounding of my heart threatening to give up. Like slow drums, the beats vibrated through my body, reminding me of the fuck up I am.
I should’ve gone somewhere else, picked a different beach. Maybe there’s something wrong with me and this is what I hoped for all along. Was this a cry for attention, or am I really hurting that much? I don’t know anymore. Although right now I do feel safe. I felt safe in Nikolai’s arms all night. So why am I getting up and plotting my escape while he sleeps?
I should feel grateful, and I am. After all, there was a brief moment of fear laced with regret that I remember vividly. My purpose has not been fulfilled yet. I need to know what happened with my brother.
I go to the bathroom, tip-toeing the entire way there, and shut the door quietly. I take care of business and brush my teeth quickly with his toothbrush. I’m in a rush, since I know Nik will wake up any moment if he hears me and I don’t want to deal with the fallout of what I did. He might just do something I’m afraid of, like ask me why I did it. I don’t have answers as to why, I just wanted to make the pain stop. The guilt, the memories, the nightmares. The desperation I feel for this man who killed my baby brother. I wanted it all to end, but how cruel is the universe to play this card on me? I hate myself right now.
