Page 42 of The Operator


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Imust’ve looked pathetic and small sitting against the wall watching Noah thrash and twist in the bed we’d been sharing. We’d hadn’t been in the house for more than a few days. There wasn’t much beyond the two beds and the dining table downstairs, since he hadn’t had much time to shop, and I wanted nothing to do with the things in my cottage.

Hearing the anguish and distress in his voice as he moaned at something I couldn’t see, I wanted to go to him more than anything. To take away whatever had him that terrified.

Only one thing had stopped me. I promised him that I would get to safety. If I did try and wake him, there was a chance that he would hurt me. Not only that, if he couldn’t trust me to take care of myself, he would never fall asleep next to me again. I needed to assure him that he was free to suffer through his nightmares alone. Comfort would need to wait.

I hugged my arms around my legs, holding my knees to my chest. In nothing but a T-shirt of Noah’s, I tucked the hem under my butt. My bare toes curled to the wooden floor. Finding my sleep shorts would have been a good idea, but I didn’t want to do anything that would scare Noah more. Whatever was happening in his mind had to be terrifying. No doubt it had to do with thefact that he and his team would be leaving on a mission in a few hours.

We’d had at least a dozen conversations about it over the last week. I knew it wasn’t the mission that scared him. The idea of leaving me alone terrified the hell out of him. It was the only reason I had agreed to stay with Jake and Cassie while he was away. Although, I wasn’t thrilled about the idea.

If I was in danger, I would be taking it to their door and that didn’t sit right with me. Little Daisy was in danger too. Even with that argument, I was still out voted three to one. Even if she could talk, I doubted Daisy would have agreed with me. I suspect that she would have agreed with the person who provided the food. And then my protection and transport arrangements were divided up without my input. Sky was happy since it meant she would be going to and from school with Aidan since Jared was away and both kids needed to get to school.

That was a whole other situation to deal with, I was almost sure the crush was mutual. It seemed they were both oblivious and I wanted to keep it that way. She was too young to have a boyfriend, and something told me that is what would happen if they realized that they felt the same way about one another.

Noah jerked and sat straight up on the bed. His wide eyes darted around the room until they met mine. “I’m sorry.”

My heart broke at the idea that he thought he needed to apologize. I stood and walked over to the bed.

“Is it over?”

He dragged a hand over his face. “Yeah. I’m awake.”

I let out a long breath. My shoulders relaxed and my jaw unclenched. I got onto the bed and straddled him. Without thought I pulled him close and just held him. His head rested against my chest, and he took a few deep breaths.

“You want to talk about it?”

He shook his head. “Not really, and it wasn’t much different from usual except while I was being held captive, someone had you too. I couldn’t get to you, Ev.”

My arms wrapped even tighter around him. “Sshh. I’m here in your arms and I’m safe. I will do whatever you tell me to do to keep myself that way.”

That was reassurance he needed. I was safe and I would continue to do so.

He buried his head into my breasts, obviously finding comfort there. I wasn’t sure what it said about it either of us that I liked the idea that he found comfort in me.

“I was held captive for over a month.” There was a pause, but I knew it was not the time to ask questions. Instead, I waited and listened until he was ready to speak again. “We were ambushed and captured. None of my teammates survived. Two died in the explosion when we were taken. The other three died while in captivity. Two had such severe injuries that they never even made it to the torture table, the other was killed in front of me. They never meant to kill him though. They wanted me to talk, and they believed the best way to accomplish that was to let me watch him being tortured. It may have worked if they carried on for much longer. But they overdid it and instead of merely injuring him, they killed him.”

There was a long pause as I held my strong man in my arms. The fact that there were assholes out there who had hurt him to the degree that he still saw them in his nightmares made me understand how he felt about my stalker. I wanted nothing more than to find the men who hurt him and tear them apart, limb from limb.

That, of course, was never going to happen. Instead, I focused on the man in front of me.

I lifted his face and looked directly into those soulful eyes. “You, Noah Moore, are the strongest man I know. What thoseassholes did was meant to break you, but you were stronger than them.”

“I don’t think you heard me, babe.” His hands moved over my thighs, and he frowned up at me. “I nearly cracked.”

I brushed my lips against his, sending sparks through my body. “Nearly, Noah. It's not the same thing. Their overenthusiasm was their weakness. That was all you needed. To be stronger than their weakest link. And you were. I need to be honest with you about something, as well.”

He frowned up at me. “I’m listening.”

That little scowl was adorable. I’m sure it intimidated men way bigger than me, but I knew Noah would never want me to be scared in his presence.

I swallowed before I confessed the thing I never told anyone. “I never told anyone why I left the music industry.”

“Because you wanted to raise Sky away from the limelight. You already told me that, babe.”

I pushed a little away from him so I could look at him. He still managed to hold on to me, his hand moving up and down my ribs.

“Not exactly. I left because you didn’t want to raise your children in that environment.”

“What?”

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